Minsan May Isang Puta

Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko, puta daw ako. Nagpapagamit, binabayaran. Sabi nila, ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.

Tara, makinig ka muna sa kwento ko, yosi muna tayo.

Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin. Nagkagusto at naakit. Ang hirap pag lahat sa iyo, virgin eh. Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga nangyari sa akin. Bukas palad ko naman silang pinakitunguhan, ni hindi ko nga itinuring na iba. Iniisip ko na nga lang na kasi di sila taga rito kaya siguro talagang ganoon.

Tatlong malilibog na foreigners ang nagpyesta sa katawan ko. Sabi nila na-rape daw ako.

Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko makakalimutan. Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Kasi, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. May mga pagkakaton na nasusuka na ko sa mga nangyayari sa aming dalawa. Parang ‘pag humahalinghing siya, nararamdaman ko na nalalason ako.. Gusto ko mang umayaw, hindi ko makuhang humindi. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit. Ibang klase din kasi siya mag-sorry eh, lalo pa at inalagaan niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko.

Alam mo, parating ang dami naming regalo - may chocolates, yosi at ano ka! May datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya! Alam kong ginagamit niya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-inggles, di lang magsulat ha! Magbasa pa!
Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na sosyal kami! Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na kaligayahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay.

Punyetang buhay! Sa dami ng lason na sinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga tanga ko. Palayasin ko na daw. Taon ang binilang bago ako natauhang makining sa payo. Iniisip ko kasi na parang di ko kakayanin na mawala siya sa akin… Sa amin! .

Sa tulong ng ilan sa mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang demonyo pero ang hirap magsimula. Hindi nga ako sigurado kung nabunutan ako ng tinik o nadagdagan pa. Masyado na kasi kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay na naranasan namin sa kanya, kaya eto nabaon kami sa utang. Lubog na lubog kami sa pagkakautang, kulang yata pati kaluluwa namin para ibayad sa mga inutang namin.

Nakakahiya man aminin pero hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. ‘Yun nga lang, kapit sa patalim sabi nga nila. Para akong isang aso na nangagat ng amo, na bumabahag ang buntot at umaamo kapag nangangailangan.

Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapitbahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naaawa. Puta na kasi ang isang magandang katulad ko. Ang dating hinahangaan at humahalina ay nabibili sa murang halaga. Alam mo maski ganun ang mga nangyari sa akin, nilakasan ko pa rin ang loob ko. Kailangan makita ng mga anak ko, na masasandalan nila ako maski ano pang mangyari.

Maski ano pa ang sabihin ng iba, sinisikap namin na maging maganda ang buhay namin. Nag-aambisyon kami at nangangarap. Ayun, may mga anak ako na nasa Japan, Hong Kong, Saudi. Yung iba nag-US, Canada, Europe. ‘Yung iba ayaw umalis sa akin. Halos lahat, wala naman silbi. Masaya daw sa piling ko, maski amoy pusali ako.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko na nagsisikap na tulungan ang kalagayan namin, siya din ang dami ng mga anak ko na nanamantala sa kabuhayan at kayaman na itinatabi ko para sa punyetang kinabukasan naming lahat. Eto na nga ang panahon na halos di na kami makaahon sa hirap ng buhay. Napakahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap.

Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa ng palaki! Paano na lang ang mga anak kong naiwan sa aking puder? At paano na lang ang mga anak kong nasa abroad? Baka di na nila ako balikan o bisitahin man lang? Hindi na importante kung laspagin man ang ganda ko, madama lang ng mga anak ko ang pagmamahal ko. Malaman nila na ibibigay ko ang lahat para sa kanila.

Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko maganda pa rin ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag-usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko eh, namamayagpag kahit saan sila pumunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawain. Tama man o mali.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko, iilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May malasakit man, nahihilaw pa.

Mabigat dalahin para sa akin, ang katotohanan na ni minsan ay di kami naging isang pamilya. Halos lahat ng mga anak ko, galit sa isa’t isa. IIlan ang gusto magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Madalas kong itinatanong sa sarili ko kung naging masama ba akong nanay para magturingan ng ganito ang mga anak ko?

Kanino bang similya ng demonyo nanggaling ang mga anak kong maituturing mong may mga pinag-aralan pero nakakadama ng saya at sarap sa paghihirap ng kapatid nila? Di ko lubos maisip kung saan impiyerno nanggaling ang kasikiman ng ilan sa mga anak kong ito. Sila pa naman ang inaasahan kong magbabangon sa amin. Nakakabaliw isipin na natitiis nila ang kalagayan ng kanilang mga kapatid na halos mamatay sa hirap ng buhay. Parang di sila magkakapatid sa tindi ng pagkaganid at walang pagmamalasakit.

Ang di ko akalain ay mismong mga anak ko, ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masaya sila sa mga nabibili nila mula sa pinagputahan ko. Buong angas nilang pinagyayabang ang mga pansamantalang yaman at ang kanilang hilaw na pagkatao sa mga makakakita at makikinig. Talaga bang nakakalula ang materyal na kayamanan at mga titulong ikinakabit sa pangalan? Hindi ko maintindihan.

Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala sarili ko.

Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Ilang linggo pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang usap-usapan na ang susunod na pangbubugaw sa akin. Gagamitin pa nila ang kahinaan ng mga kapatid nilang alipin sa kalam ng tiyan. Sa tagal ng panahong ganito ang sitwasyon namin parang eto lang ang sulok na gagalawan ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin. Ipaglaban naman nila ako. Gusto kong isigaw: "Ina ninyo ako! Pagmamahal nyo lang ang kailangan ko!”

Sensya na, ang haba na ng drama ko. Masisira na ang make up ko nito eh. Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako. Malaking bagay sa akin na nakausap kita. Ang tagal nating nag-usap, di man lang ako nagpapakilala.

Ay sorry, di ko nasabi pangalan ko.

Pilipinas nga pala.

Author is mike portes -mike.portes@gmail.com

OktoberFest No More

Days to go and here comes October. Having worked with San Miguel Corporation for more than six years, October ushers in a tremendous ambiance of celebration not just for its employees but more importantly to the entire Philippine drinking population as well. On this period, nothing else comes to mind but overflowing beer, band rages, street parties and widespread fiesta. It’s time for San Miguel’s Oktoberfest!

For several years, I have been a part of Oktoberfest – now an officially DOT recognized event in our country. My employee ID was as good as an entrance pass and my various contacts in the Sales and Marketing Department has given access to enjoy the goodness of free flowing San Miguel beer. The kick off party usually begins on the first weekend of October in various simultaneous parties across the country. Together with friends and officemates, we just stay for a couple of hours because traditionally, as the party gets late, the crowd and the “outside crowd” becomes even more unruly and wild, and risk of being hit with flying empty bottles or showered with beer leftovers is uncompromising.

The Philippines is set to make it to the Guiness Book of World Records for the longest bar in the world--a staggering 600 meters in total, stretching along the length of San Miguel Avenue and winding down to Julia Vargas Avenue in Ortigas, Mandaluyong City. The bar, which easily bests the 240-meter record held by Taiwan, was one of the main attractions of the San Miguel Oktoberfest kick-off party held last September 5. The event, which also featured four stages and around 40 local bands and artists, also attempted to set a world record for the largest beer-toasting crowd. Third Eye Blind was featured as one of the main acts. Dubbed "San Miguel Oktoberfest 120," the event launched the longest-ever celebration of the world-renowned festival, now extended to 120 days.

Now I have resigned from San Miguel and decided to try my luck here in Dubai, Oktoberfest is one thing I truly miss most. Though I am not a beer lover by nature, the moments spent with friends while grooving to the music of the featured bands and the opportunity to just be there when it happens is something that I couldn’t find elsewhere. There are also beer here in Dubai, but as what the famous SMB commercial line said, “iba na ang may pinagsamahan.”

Traditionally, Oktoberfest lasts for a month, but for 2008, in celebration of the company's 120th anniversary, San Miguel has decided to make the celebration a four month long revelry of camaraderie, brotherhood, good times, exuberant parties and overflowing beer starting last September. “Siento biente na!” cried Manny Pacquiao. When there’s nothing left to take out of the wallet, Filipinos are sure to find a cunning way to produce money in time for that special occasion. In splendid irony, “pag sa pagkain walang pambili, pero pag inuman, lumalabas daw ang pera”.

Since I am miles away to be one with my friends in kicking off the celebration of Oktoberfest, only pictures of my friends have reached my mailbox as evidenced that Oktoberfest has indeed started. But hey, I might still be able to catch up the Closing Party if ever I go on vacation this December. If that happens, I will just text you and I will see you then. Cheers!

Charicematics!

I must admit, I had been a fan of Charice since the first time I saw her sing on TV. Said this little girl has enormous talent that couldn't be denied. That's why I was hugely disappointed when she just finished third in the contest's finals where I first admired her vocal prowess. The contest chose to award the grand prize to a better looking but less talented guy. Anyway, with all the big breaks she's now getting, I am so happy and proud of her. Truly, nobody can't bring a good, or should I say talented girl down.

Awkward
Sometimes when I go to the internet shop, it feels awkward that someone so astig looking as me is actually digging for Charice Youtube videos instead of cars, sports or the latest gadgets. Then I realized that I shouldn't care for what other people have to say, as long as I enjoy what I am doing and I am not getting in the way of other people. More to Charice videos!

Charice: From Dining Table to Big Stages
Charicematic I have become, I search over Youtube to find more of Charice equally amazing videos and here they are:

Charice, then nine years old, while performing during the Grand Finals of MTB's Bulilit StarQuest

Charice's second guesting on Korea's Star King, where she was voted the Most Requested Foreign Act of 2007

Still on StarKing, Charice singing "A Whole New World with Super Junior Kyu Hyun

Charice singing "One Moment in Time" during the TFC program Citizen Pinoy"

Charice doing her rendition of "I Believe" at the 10th Anniversary of Bantay Bata

Charice singing "Listen: during the US - Philippine Expo

Charice performing "Stand Up for Love" at Malacanang

Charice sings "Alone" in a "handaan"

Charice: Proudly Philippine Made

She’s by far the youngest yet perhaps the biggest Pinoy act ever to conquer the international music arena, forget about Leah, forget about Lani, forget about Billy, forget about Arnel, Ladies and gentlemen, hail to the newest international singing sensation, from the Philippines, Charice!

One Moment
It was one moment when I truly felt proud of being a Filipino. I was so proud that I cried while getting all the goose bumps. What am I talking about? It’s not something that I did in the bathroom! Hello!, it’s Charice latest international singing performance, a duet with no less than Celine Dion at the Madison Square Garden! From one guesting to another, Charice is really doing something that can make us all proud to be Pinoys. What more? Oprah, David Foster, Andrea Bocelli, to name a few, are all behind her back making sure her star shines the brightest in the months to come.

The Beginning
Charice journey to stardom begun through Youtube. In 2007, a series of videos of Charice's performances were uploaded to Youtube by someone who goes by the name of FalseVoice. It was then after that people from around the globe took notice of her incredible set of pipes. But prior to her popularity in the internet, she already has been a staple of many singing contest in the Philippines since age seven. In 2005, she joined Little Big Star, a talent show on ABS-CBN loosely patterned after American Idol. Eliminated after her first performance, she was later called back as a wildcard contender. Charice worked her way up to the finals and eventually placed third.

Jumpstart

Charice’s Youtube videos brought her first to the attention of Sweden based Ten Songs/Production. In June 2007, she flew to Stockholm, Sweden and recorded seven songs. Then a video of Charice performing the Dreamgirls' anthem And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going became a hit on UCC, the Korean version of YouTube. This gained her an invite to perform the same song on Star King, a famous talent show in South Korea, in October 2007.

International Performances
In December 2007, she flew to the United States for the first time after having been personally invited by Ellen Degeneres to perform on her show. She sang Whitney Houston's I WIll Always Love You and her popular cover of And I Am Telling You. Right after her guesting on Ellen, Charice became an instant celebrity in the Philippines performing on different TV shows, becoming one of the most sought after young singer in the country.

In April 2008, she guested on The Paul O'Grady Show, performing two songs and earning standing ovations, the first in the show's history.

In May 2008, Charice guested on The Oprah Winfrey Show in their World's Smartest Kids episode. She sang Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing.

In the same month, Charice was introduced to the international concert arena by David Foster in his tribute concert, David Foster and Friends, at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. She would again later join David Foster on September 13, 2008, in the David Foster & Friends Charity Gala & Concert at Winspeare Centre in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

In July 2008, she was personally invited by Andrea Bocelli to be one of his guests on his birthday concert, The Cinema Tribute, held in Lajatico, Italy. Aside from her solo performances, she did a duet of the song The Prayer with Andrea Bocelli.

On September 6, 2008, she performed before more than 50,000 football fans at Feyenoord's Centennial Anniversary, the Festival of the Century, in The Netherlands where she sang the team's theme song, You'll Never Walk Alone.

On September 09, 2008, she once again guested on The Oprah Winfrey Show in the Dreams Come True episode. Oprah referred to her as The Most Talented Girl in the World. She sang My Heart Will Go On with David Foster on piano. Oprah went on to surprise her with an appearance by Celine Dionvia satellite, with Dion inviting Charice to sing a special duet with her at Madison Square Garden as part of her Taking Chances tour.

On September 15, 2008, Charice met with Celine Dion at Madison Square Garden and they performed a duet of Because You Love Me before a 12,000 fans.

Just Proud
Charice might have gone bigtime internationally, but sad to say, her popularity is rather lukewarm in our own country. Though many kakabayans feel so much proud of her achievements, it ends there. Her album is still stacked in the shelves. Nobody seems to buy it cause her videos and songs are accessible anytime for play and download in the internet. I just hope that her career doesn’t end where she has gotten started.

A Star Is Born
“Tonight, a star is born,” David Foster gushed after Charice rendition of “I Will Always Love You” at the show the famous songwriter put up for the opening of the MGM Grand Casino Hotel in Connecticut. The remark is coming not just from anyone but from somebody who just happened to discover Celine Dion. Josh Groban and many other big names.

With all the support that Charice is getting from people who trusted her talents even before we Filipinos did, her eventual turn to be the next big thing isn’t that far from where she is now. The least that we can do as kababayans is just to pray for her continued good health and good voice.

Paano na Kaya?

Bugoy Drilon, PDA Season 2 2nd Grand Placer is out to prove that he should have been the Grand Star Dreamer. The boy from Bicol, who confuses many of his sexuality has won the hearts of many because of his genuinely unique singing talent albeit his annoyingly and persistent dance step. His song from the season’s compilation album, “Paano na Kaya”, composed by Maestro Ryan Cayabyab is slowly making an entry to the airwaves because of its infectious melody and heartfelt lyrics. The song is about the peril of falling in love with a friend.

The song is fast becoming a pop favorite not just because of its sentimental and poignant message, but due to its intriguing background. Many people believe that the song was specifically written for Bugoy because of his rumored closeness and attraction to another PDA scholar named Sen. Matter of fact is, they have been the subject of many blogs and sites giving malice to their intimacy and closeness. As such, in many forums, people are saying that “Paano na Kaya” is an aptly themed gay song inspired from Bugoy’s suppressed feelings for Sen. But nonetheless the song, notwithstanding its supposed backdrop, is beautifully crafted in its simplicity and truthfulness.

But how is it really to fall in love with a friend? Does it happen overnight? What are the risks involved? If you fall in love with a friend, is it better to just keep it inside or better let her/him know? According to the first four lines of the song, it is a mess to fall in love with a friend especially if you have been friends together for so long. On the other hand, harboring a special feelings for a friend can drive you crazy and can be fatal like a bomb ready to explode anytime.

Labs Kita Okay Ka Lang (Star Cinema) is the story of Bujoy (Jolina Magdangal) and Ned (Marvin Agustin). They started off as childhood friends who found themselves falling in love in cold Baguio City. The movie's most famous lines read:

"Oh yes I'm just your friend, kaibigan mo lang ako, and I know I made the most stupid mistake of falling in love with my best friend, now get out of my way and get out of my life!"

The chorus part of the song talks about how it feels when you have fallen in love with your friend. You enjoy the feelings but somehow you are afraid to express it. You try to find the reasons but you only arrive at the grounds, why it happens, why now and of all the people whom to fall with, why it has to be with a friend. The last lines of the song mention the time when all feelings have to be known, it’s full of hope that whatever happens, if she/he would accept it, better, if not, then it’s gonna be a little hard to bear but to remain friends is the least consolation you can get.

Among the new batch of scholars of PDA Season 2, it seems Bugoy has the biggest potential to cut it through our so-called talent infested music industry. His voice and singing style is different and his personal background is quite a draw. Never mind if sometimes his performance gets messy because of his irritatingly exaggerated dance steps, his sheer singing talent is enough to sell an album and with “Paano na Kaya” as his first single, success isn’t that far for this promdi guy who believed that to achieve your dreams, you must work hard and live with it.

Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2: Ang Pagtatapos

Like any other school, Pinoy Dream Academy (PDA) wrapped up its season with a grand graduation finale last weekend. After three months of rigorous training, performance examination and all the drama behind the scholars’ dream, Laarni Lozada was declared as the 2nd Grand Star Dreamer in a celebration filled with show stopping performances, great upsets, loud shrieks and jam-packed audience at the Cuneta Astrodome. The “Independent Woman” from Sultan Kudarat, a virtual unknown prior to joining PDA, bested the heavy favorite Bugoy who came in far second and even five time Star Scholar Liezel Garcia who just managed to grab the fourth spot.

Talent Over Attitude
It was an emotional victory for Laarni Lozada who struggled in the early part of the contest and was in danger of elimination in her very first week in the academy. She also got in spats with fellow scholars because of her constant mood swings and some shades of attitude problem. But talent wise, Laarni is said to be the most gifted of them all because of her wide vocal range. She always impressed the audience and the judges week after week with her performances. PDA, first and foremost, is a talent search and as such, has succeeded in presenting Laarni as this season’s cream of the crop.

The Great Upsets
Laarni’s victory came costly for others. For one, a lot of people were rooting for Bugoy Drilon to win the top prize. Aside from being uniquely different, in both attitude and singing style, Bugoy’s single in their compilation album is the one getting the most airplays and has the potential of becoming a hit. Laarni’s patriotic piece, “Manalig Ka’, on the other hand is not the type the masa will dig to hear. As for Bugoy, he’s still thankful for the opportunity for bringing him closer to his dreams. His emotional speech was the most applauded when he said that “Mangarap po tayo. Kahit simpleng tao pwedeng mangarap!”

Another disappointment was when balladeer and former Pinoy Idol finalist Miguel Mendoza took the 3rd place instead of early favorite Liezl. Many people believed he doesn’t have the voice and he’s too bland for a performer and he just won because of the text votes lobbed by his wealthy family. Well, that might be a little unfair to say considering that Miguel, aside from singing, is also a gifted composer and musician.

The Rest of Six
Though she has been the front runner early on the show, Liezl Garcia of Dubai wasn’t able to translate her equally unique vocals to important text votes. And as such, our Beyonce wannabe plummeted only to take the 4th spot, taking home nothing but the opportunity, like what she said, to be trained by the best mentors inside the academy.

The bottom two PDA finalists are more of showbiz materials than singing sensations. Blessed with pretty faces rather than amazing set of pipes,

Chris Pastor and Van Pojas delivered mostly so-so performances all through out their stay in the Academy and as such, not so many were expecting any one of them to claim the top prize. Though winners are determined via text votes, viewers and PDA supporters have matured enough to know who deserves to be real singers.

End of School
So another PDA season has passed. From an original cast of fifteen scholars and a handful of mentors for voice, dance, performance and counseling, we have witnessed before our TV screens the lives of our favorite scholars, their attitudes, their aspirations, their backgrounds, their transformation and even how each of them have been chosen to be expelled one by one.

For three months that we’ve been watching their every note, we have come to love them for their singing prowess or hate them for their nasty habits and attitudes. By and large, PDA is one great show to watch, compared to other reality singing shows. More than looking for the new singing idol, it goes deeper into the making of an all around performer.

The Alumni
Many scholars of PDA Season 1 have gone successful, most notably are Yeng Constantino, Jay-R Siaboc and Ronnie Liang. Yeng’s albums have all gone platinum. Jay-R has successfully ventured to TV acting while Ronnie Liang has also made it big as a balladeer.

PDA Season 2 graduates still have to prove their worth as winners. Their careers have just begun. And while they start a life with their new found popularity, may their talents, coupled with the lessons they’ve learned from their mentors guide in achieving fast their dreams, which not so long ago was just a star that they were trying to reach.

Veggy Good

I grew up in the province, in a community surrounded by fruit bearing trees and backyard gardens. Life was simple and food was never scarce. Vegetable of different kinds were grown abundantly in the neighborhood and you could ask for it for free or at its cheapest price. That’s how I had liked vegetables. My mother would always cooked vegetables telling us it’s healthy though I know for a fact that was all she could afford to prepare. Nonetheless I am grateful that she had more than instilled in us that character. We have not just memorized the “Bahay Kubo”, we had digested it!

Sa Likod po ng Aming Bahay..

When I was small, a cup of steamy rice with steamed camote tops dipped in ginisang bagoong was enough to make a full satisfying meal. If it wasn’t pinakbet or ginisang kalabasa, it would be saluyot and labong or adobong sitaw on the table, one reason after another to enjoy the meal and be thankful to the Above for showing us there’s a bounty at the back of our homes. Then it had gone beyond having left with no choice, but rather habituating to something clean and healthy.

That was something I have truly enjoyed being in the province, which, needless to say, is like being far away from toxic, from artificiality and from the perils of instant and preserved foods. When I started working in Manila, my intake of vegetable have dramatically gone less because most of the time I would have my meal in the restaurant or fastfood. My love for vegetables was overshadowed by practicality and hunt for convenience. Nevertheless, I made sure to make up for my misses every time I would go back to the province on weekends.

Being a lover of vegetables, I had never been hospitalized in my entire life for whatever medical reasons and I owe it, I believe, to my strong resistance from taking vegetables since I was a kid. Aside from that, vegetables have made me smart, talented, fat-free and less closer to the risks of high blood pressures, heart attacks, certain cancers and many other diseases. I would gladly trade in kilos of chickens, pork or fish in exchange for baskets of home grown fruits and vegetables. I just love it.

Tribulation of a Man

What shapes a rock that hardens a stone? The beating of the waves, the wind that slap its face, the rain that drowns its breath, the sun that dries up its will and all other elements that conspire to test its endurance, resilience and spirit. Same goes to man, the adversities that come our way make us better and stronger. With each trials we face, an opportunity to learn and shape our attitude is waiting. Torments and destitutions in life are not meant to bring us down but rather polish us from our weaknesses so that at the end of the day, we emerge as more resilient, supple and shielded.

No one is spared from getting uneasy sometimes, either you make your own afflictions or the people around you causing you some distress and privation. Nonetheless, to resolve and liberate oneself from mountains of quandary is a matter of personal disposition. People may throw opinions, they may insinuate, they may negate what you have in mind and discourage you, but only you yourself can make or break it. Its either you win or you lose, but it never stops there.

It is seldom that I share thoughts to people, or even if I do, it is mostly the happy ones that I impart. It’s a beautiful feeling to look back at all those times when you have almost drowned yourself with seemingly insurmountable problems and predicament and now here you are still standing and feeling better than ever. Now let me open some pages of my private book which relates to some of the incredible and heart breaking journeys in my humble life and how I have miraculously endure the pains and the agony:

POOR BOY
*Defense mode: I am still a poor guy up until now.
I have never been awkward to say that I came from a poor family. Such being my background, I grew up with simple needs. Thanked God if we would be able to eat a decent meal three times a day. We lived in a small house where we experienced waterfalls on rainy days. The only electrical devise we had inside the house was the fluorescent lamp. Going to school was uninspiring, walking to and from the house while eating a corn chips bought with my peso baon. I had no shoes, no fancy clothes, no adornment. My father’s income as a company driver was just enough for our basic needs, but I have never envied somebody else who had more of what we were lacking from. Most often, when out of way expenses had to be paid, mother would always borrowed from neighbors. We had lived such simple life where my father had to work for what we would have to eat for the day. Looking back, I couldn’t believe that after such an unimaginable days living in paucity, we have at least improved in some ways like we had built a new house and just being able to buy things aside from what we need.

BRAIN IS NOT ENOUGH
What good is a mind if you’re not gonna use it? But if you use it alone to battle your dreams, chances are, it wouldn’t take you there. When I entered high school, I felt the most pressing and depressing times of my life. I thought I was armed enough to fulfill my dreams but I was wrong. The mind is willing, but flesh is weak. Yeah, I could be the brightest among the students, but that wasn’t all that mattered. It’s not just what you knew, but whom you knew. Sadly I couldn’t afford to good at both. During that four years of study, I had silently wept many a sleepless nights. I had almost given up. I had problems with financial. I couldn’t play it fairly with rest of the class when it comes to project, need to have this, this to buy this book, need to attend this and so on.

But I have not told anyone about what was going on, not even to my parents. I didn’t want to lend some more to their burden, so I just kept it inside my heart. I alone cried when it’s no longer bearable, I begun to feel my insecurities. I begun to question why I needed to go through this. I had skipped classes and there was this one subject that I had not attended the whole year, Technology and Home Economics, because I wasn’t really good in electronics/electricity and the various project’s cost was killing me. Months before graduation, my adviser talked to me as she had learned that I wasn’t attending the class in months, I told her my problems in tears and told her that I just couldn’t pursue because I had no money to comply with the requirements of various projects. It was one moment where I had cried profusely, suddenly someone understood and sympathized my situation. She then talked to the instructor to give me at least a passing grade otherwise I won’t be able to march in the ceremony. Graduation came, I indeed hadn’t march in the ceremony, for some other reasons that bequeathed me only the fifth spot on the honorable mention list. No one had knew about this not until now.

EARLY SIGN
I have always been told, and my proud admission, that I have an attitude problem. You might think I have started exhibiting such a character when I became conscious that I was a force to reckon, but nope, since kid, I had already manifested signs that I would be a little uneasy to get along with. That’s because I am not used to seeing and being with people. In as much as many are displeased with my behavior, I also did feel the same way disgruntled, why do I have to please people when I could bask warts and all in my reclusive territory.

I remember, when I was just less than ten, I would not eat for days and not talk whenever I was scolded by my mother. When I was in grade three, I was supposed to represent my school to a quiz show but I went home instead simply because I felt I wasn’t taken cared of. That’s the start of it. Since then, I have made record number of representations back-outs, interview walk outs, drastic resignation attempts, sudden disappearances from occasions and many times screwing up what’s supposed to be a jolly celebration. Many times I have already been made to feel how bad I was. I have accepted it anyway, it’s only that I am not sure if I can change and redeem a notorious soul right now. Just like a sturdy tree whose roots extend far wide below the ground, cutting just the visible part wouldn’t kill the tree after all. It takes time.

Sign You are in Office Hell

Ang lobby guard niyo ay si Palito alias Rambuto.

Ang time administrator niyo ay si Cherie Gil at angmorning greeting niya with a smile ay... "Welcome to hell..."Ang HR head niyo ay si Bella Flores at ang EmployeeRelations Officer ay si Odette Khan at ang HR Staffinghead ay si Dexter Doria... At pag pumasok ka na walangID o hindi naka-uniform... kakaladkarin ka nila sa buhok palabas ng opisina pagkatapos kang pagsasampalin.

Ang Employee Benefits head ay si Lolit Solis... cge...magreklamo ka na maliit ang sueldo mo...cgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I dare you!!!!

Tuwing may problema ang kompanya, ang Corporate Communications head niyo na si Cristy Fermin angnagbibigay ng official company statement... at angsimula nang kanyang presscon ay... "Galing ito sa isangreliable source at itataya ko ang buhay at karangalan ko dito... wala akong libel case na inuurungan..."

Ang official company driver niyo ay si Vandolph. Do Ihave to explain?

Kapag kasama mo mag-OT si German Moreno... walangtulugan!

Ang Legal Investigator niyo ay si Tony Falcon at ang assistant niya ay si Wengweng... paminsan minsan aytumutulong si Ricky Lo at Madam Auring bilangconsultant.

Tuwing bubuksan mo ang filing cabinet andun si Mahalsa loob para iabot ang file na hinahanap mo.

Nung huling company anniversary ay sumayaw ka ngnakadamit babae at sumayaw sa tugtog na "ang gandako... feel na feel ang long hair ko..." kinabukasandumating si Robin Padilla para itanong sa yo kung niloloko mo ang kapatid niya...

Messenger niyo si Kuya Cesar.

Si Boy Abunda ang career counselor mo at tuwing meproblema ka ang tanong niya ay... "Mag-usap tayokaibigan... kung nasa harap ka ng salamin ano ang sasabihin mo sa iyong sarili?"

Si Love Añover ang voice behind your automated phonesystem. "Mga katsokaran... ip you chuva da numbereklavu... dependots 1... ips not... luz valdez... charing!"

Ang Office Security niyo ay binubuo ng TulfoBrothers... bigla silang darating sa opisina mo atsasabihin "Hephephep... nag-uuwi ka ng bondpaper... tarantadong to ah... manggagantsong buteteka!!!" At pag tumanggi ka... ipapanood nila sa yo ang hidden camera shots na nagpupuslit ka ng 2 pirasongbond paper mula sa printer... habang pinoposasan ka ngmga pulis.

Nung Halloween party niyo ang costume mo ay Lizardo... at dun mo rin first time na-meet ang anak ngmay-ari na ang pangalan ay Tristan... alias Panday.Next halloween me tribute sa buhay mo na ipapalabas.

Tuwing pasko ang prize committee head ay si Bernadette Sembrano at Vicky Morales. Taon taon din ay nanalo kong bananacue at pedicab showcase. At nangangarap ka nasana next time si Willie naman para me jeepney.

Si Michael Fajatin ang laging nagpe-present ng annual report niyo... "Mga Igan... nung umabot sa PhP50M angating kinita... kumita tayo ng PhP50M... matapos natingmagtrabaho ng matindi kumita tayo ng PhP50M pero bagoyan ay nagtrabaho muna tayo saka tayo kumita ng PhP50M."

Boss mo si Big Brother... at alam niya na lampas 15minutes ka nag-coffee break kaya kailangan mo mag-typenang gamit ang ilong mo hanggang patawarin ka niya.

Kaopisina mo si Arnold Clavio at pag naka-leave siya... OIC niya si Arn-Arn.

At ang number 1 sign na you're in OFFICE HELL...department head mo si Mike Enriquez...AT HINDI NIYA KAYO TATANTANAN!!!!

Despedida

Towards the end of 2006, a handful of San Miguel employees, including me, chose to retire from office after years of dedicated service to the company. During the grand despedida party that was given to celebrate the last day in office of the retirees, I secretly made and presented this video to honor each retirees' fruitful years as part of the San Miguel family. This is actually almost an hour long but I am just sharing to you the intro part of the video. It says that as time changes, we also have to make decisions to go with that flow. But no matter and wherever our dreams take us right after, the joys and friendships that we have shared is one that will truly endure the test of times. Check this out:

The Real Queen of Beauty

"High tide or low tide?”, that’s probably one of the smartest question or should I say answer that has ever been given in the Miss Universe Pageant. That of course pertains to the eloquent reply of Miss Philippines Charlene Gonzales when asked about how many were the islands that make up the Philippines. Then she completed by saying, that it’s 7,107 during high tide and 7,108 on low tide. The fabulous line has indeed became a by-word during that time, selling mostly to people who borrows that line to respond to whatever question , some totally unrelated just to be able to use that line. Aside from that, we had never really taken that context so seriously. That we have indeed 7,107 wonderful islands scattered like rosary across the richest marine area in the world.

Charlene Gonzales produced one of the most famous answers in an international beauty competition. When asked by the host about the number of islands in the Philippines, she boldly asked back, "At high tide or low tide?"

Ours is a beautiful and rich country, history will testifies that many races in the past had tried to own us simply because of our rich and abundant natural wonders. Our seas flourish with vast marine species of fish and underwater flora and fauna. Our mountains are filled with high value elements and mineral deposits. Our forests thrive with exotic plants and rare animals never to be found elsewhere. Our lands are fertile for crops and our beaches are the best in the world. Our scenic landscapes are incomparable and one of a kind. Our hidden natural wonders are simply awesome and breathe-taking. Our climate is the envy of the people above the Equator. Our people are the sweetest in the world, sadly just the same, our people are the least likely to believe and appreciate that we are indeed a beautiful and rich country.

So we never really care about what we have or for what is left. Look at us today? The mountains are gone, the seas are polluted, the air is contaminated, the lands are wasted and dirty and the people, well I couldn’t say much cause I myself is part of it. Guess we have exercised too much freedom and democracy that we have acted beyond our limits. The grasses do not grow anymore, the fishes are floating dead in the shores, the animals are endangered, the waters are rushing from the high hills because the trees are no longer there to stop it and there still many more mess which are unpleasant to the eyes and irritating to the ears that need not be mentioned. Guess we have become too complacent to think that all of these things would never run out.

Then it all comes back to us. We pay for all our negligence, abuse and disrespect for the things that we have blessed with. Numerous flash floods and landslides have unjustly claimed the lives of our fellowmen. We are running out of steady food supply and the prices of food commodities are always increasing. Lot of diseases are spreading out of our dirty and uncontained misbehavior like throwing garbage wherever we want. We go on with our daily lives as if nothing alarming is going on. We are too concerned with our individual families that we forget the Mother that always provides, Nature.

And like all other mistake, we will never know that we have made one unless we are badly affected and until we learn our lessons and rise from it. It’s never too late too make up for all our shortcomings. We could always undo whatever falling out we may have with our friends and with our loved ones. Same for our environment, whatever abuses and disregards we may have done to her, it’s still within our reach to bring her back to her original glory. Plant more trees, stop illegal logging, don’t hunt the animals in the forest, avoid dynamite fishing, don’t throw your wastes everywhere at your convenience, conserve water and electricity, the possibilities for a renewed and healthy environment is limitless and just waiting…

Mirriam Quiambao had almost brought home the Miss Universe crown in 1999 after falling off the stage and regally picking up her shoes like nothing has ever happened. We may have caused a lot of damage to Mother Nature but it’s not tool late to pay her back for all the bounties and all the beauties she gave our land. In 2007, the new7Wonders Foundation, in an official declaration in July 07, 2007 formally launched the campaign for the world’s New Seven Wonders of Nature. They are the same organization that officially selected the New Seven Wonders of the World, the latter being consisted of outstanding human architectural and engineering marvel. Now it is nature’s turn to grab the spotlight as seven of the world’s most amazing and incredible natural wonders will be selected and recognized.

Now what am I saying? Here’s the deal, as of to date, the committee had already shortlisted 77 candidates (thru internet votes) from over a thousand of submitted entries. Of the seventy seven remaining candidates, four are from the Philippines, as follows: the Chocolate Hills, the Mayon Volcano, the Tubbataha Reef and the St. Paul Subterranean Park in Palawan. At the end of the campaign period next year, 21 Finalists will be selected from there the new Seven Wonders of Nature will chosen. Currently, all our four bets are placed within the Top 11 (as of July 11, 2008 midnight), with Tubbataha Reef at No.8, the Chocolate Hills at No.5, the St. Paul Subterranean Park at No.2 and the Mayon Volcano at No.11.

OUR PRIDE BEARERS.

Tubbataha Reef is an atoll coral reef in the Sulu Sea that belongs to the Philippines. It is a marine sanctuary protected as Tubbataha Reef National Marine Park. The reef is composed of two atolls, North and South Reefs. Each reef has a single small islet that protrudes from the water. The atolls are separated by a deep channel 8 kilometers wide. Over one thousand species, including many that are endangered, can be found at on the reef. These include manta rays, lionfish, tortoises, clownfish and sharks.

The Chocolate Hills is an unusual geological formation in Bohol, Philippines. It is composed of around 1,268 perfectly cone-shaped hills, all about the same size, spread over an area of more than 50 sq km The hills are covered in green grass that turns brown during the dry season, giving them the name ''Chocolate Hills.''

The Puerto Princesa Subterranean River National Park is located about 50 km north of the city of Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines. It features a limestone karst mountain landscape with an 8.2 km. navigable underground river. A distinguishing feature of the river is that it winds through a cave before flowing directly into the South China Sea. It includes major formations of stalactites and stalagmites, and several large chambers. The lower portion of the river is subject to tidal influences. The underground river is reputed to be the world's longest. At the mouth of the cave, a clear lagoon is framed by ancient trees growing right to the water's edge. Monkeys, large monitor lizards, and squirrels find their niche on the beach near the cave.

Mayon Volcano is an active volcano on the Filipino island of Luzon, 15 km northwest of Legazpi City.It is classified by volcanologists as a stratovolcano (composite volcano). Its symmetric cone was formed through alternate pyroclastic and lava flows. Mayon is the most active volcano in the country, having erupted over 47 times in the past 400 years, and is a part of what is called the Pacific Ring of Fire.

We have screwed up many things before but many times we have proven our worth as a united nation. Four times we have won thru internet votes the Miss Universe Miss Photogenic Award. Now we can make it happen again, this time for the New Seven Wonders of Nature. Let us show to the world that no matter how bad our image is as far as politics, corruption, economy, peace and order is concerned, ours is nation blessed with extra ordinary God Given natural wonders. Let us give Mother nature the respect and recognition she deserves. Let us be aware that we have 7,107 islands that other nations can only dream of. Let’s take pride and join hands together to place the Philippines in the list where she rightfully deserves to be included. This is the right time.


To vote for the Philippine candidates in the new seven wonders of nature, please visit www.new7wonders.com

Unacceptable

It's probably the most horrible thing that has ever happened to my family. It's a bad dream that we hoped we could have easily recovered from. It's a sad luck I wished had never occurred. It was my sister's wedding, an unwanted and agonizing prelude to a disturbing family life. I am not trying to be mean and improperly concerned here; I am just out flowing the very source of some of my family's most heartbreaking ordeals.

My sister's wedding wasn’t something that we have embraced with open arms. Much to our detest, it has cause my mother gallons of tears since their engagement. During the wedding, we were barely represented. Why shouldn't we? It was her wedding, not ours. It was her man, not ours. When my sister met then guy for the first time, she went with him and she never came back home. We were the last to know that she's already runaway with someone we wished we've known. He was a total stranger and she was a total shame.

Before that unfortunate event, at least for us, my sister has already been a pain in the ass. She never finished schooling, that being the case, I assumed might have caused her to never dream big and be of help to my parents. She's always out of the house and when confronted, she would always talk down to my mother. She has given my mother enough heartaches. We could not stop her. Sometimes we wished she gets married if that's the only way to domesticate her. We have no idea that it would come sooner than we thought. We were unprepared.

My mother went hysterical the night that she did not come home. She aptly looked for her and called all her friends if they knew anything about her whereabouts. When news broke that she was seen in the guy's house in a nearby barangay, my mother rushed to them and convinced her to come back home. She's willing to accept her after all that has happened. But she wouldn't. She clung to her man as if they had known each other for the longest time. My mother was all cried out in pain and betrayal. Her daughter was marrying a guy we barely even know and I bet she doesn't know him enough as well. She might have gotten sore of my mother's constant lecturing. She was looking for an escape and she was probably blinded by the guy's words.

We would have been proud and happy if she's getting married to a decent guy, with stable job and a little pleasing personality. Unfortunately, there is nothing redeeming in the side of his character. His hideous, alcoholic and one jobless freak who depends upon his parents for all his needs. He comes from family of stubborn japayukis and mentally troubled clan. She was terribly blinded, by love? I don’t know for sure. Maybe the dark lights that characterized traditional barangay dance parties where they were supposed to have met.

After they got married, I could still hear my mother cried once in a while. She couldn’t contain her hurt in the same way that I couldn’t contain my hate. If there are people who felt bad about it, I was one of them. Not that I couldn’t accept that she has gotten married, what I could accept is the fact that she has tied the knots with someone who's so disrespectful. Someone whom I could not be a friend to. They rarely visited the house right after, thank God. One less mouth to feed, one less soul to worry.

Living their own separate lives, we thought would spare us of their usual feud. True enough, they have never bothered us of anything. Maybe they were trying to prove that they can survive a happy life even without our blessings. But everything changed when they bore their first child. Though my family's dislike for the couple hasn't completely died down, our love for the baby was absolutely devoid of any hatred and denial. We thought that his birth has nothing to do with how we deal with his parents. Gradually my family's not so pleasant relationship with the two has perished like a fading candle light, all because of the baby whose innocence has brought us to be humble and forgiving. Since then, they would always pay a visit to our house every weekend, all because my parents want to see and play with their first grandchild.

A Love Story

“Mabuti pa ang saging, may puso.” Ouch! Tinamaan yata ako don. Oo nga noh? Binalikan ko lahat ng previous entries ko at wala ngang ni isang love story akong naisulat. Hmmm…Bakit nga ba? Mas mabuti pa ba talaga ang saging kesa sa akin. Hindi naman siguro. Ayoko lang kasi ng dramatic na entry, na kadalasan din ay corny, na minsan namn ay OA, oh love! Where art thou? Pero sige, for a change, here comes a love story mula sa aking hindi masyadong malikhaing "imahinasyon". *Liar mode*

"Unang tingin pa lang niya sa akin, nabasa ko na sa kanyang mga mata na may gusto siyang iparating, Umiwas ako. Natakot. Hindi naman kasi pangkaraniwan ang lugar na kung saan kami nagkita. Baka may makapansin sa amin, ano pa ang isipin. Makalipas ang ilang oras na pagliliwaliw, nagpasya akong lumabas na at umuwi ng bahay. Umuulan noon, wala naman akong dalang payong o kung anong pantakip ng ulo man lang. Naghintay ako sa mataas na silong ng mall na yun. Maraming iba pa ang nagpapatila rin ng ulan. Maingay ang paligid, sinasabayan pa ng walang tigil na chismisan ng mga taong nasa likuran ko. Nakakainip. Mag alas onse na nang gabi non. Gusto ko ng magpahinga. Kapagdaka’y napatingin ako sa aking tagiliran, may isang taong nakamasid sa akin. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. Siya yun. Siya ang taong nakita ko kanina at iniwasan. Sinundan ba niya ako? O nagkataon lang? Di naman siguro kasi ilang oras na rin ang dumaan mula ng unang nagtagpo ang aming mga paningin. Malamang nagkataon lang at pauwi na rin siya. Wala rin siyang dalang payong.

Gusto ko nang suungin ang malakas na ulan para lang makauwi, pero baka naman ako’y magkasakit at mabasa ang aking Hush Puppies na sapatos, sayang naman kakabili ko pa lang. Habang ako’y nakatayo sa aking napapagal na mga hita, nararamdaman kong ang tao sa tagiliran ko ay nakamasid sa akin, na para bang naghihintay na siya’y aking sulyapan din. Nilingon ko siya kunwari ako’y may hinahanap, siya’y nakatingin nga ng malagkit at nakangiti ng parang isang walang muwang na kabataan. Isa isa ng nawawala ang mga tao sa waiting shed dahil patigil na rin ang ulan. Ewan ko ba, pwede na sana akong umalis pero nagdalawang isip ako. Sapakin ko kaya ang sumusunod sa akin, wari ko. Pero huwag, sayang naman, napag isip isip ko, may hitsura naman pala siya.

Tunghayan ang buong kwento.

Father's Birthday

Two days ago, my Father celebrated his 64th birthday in a rare occasion where the whole family gathered including many relatives. There to celebrate were his brothers who share the same passion and love for drinking. So as early as 11 am, two tables were already emptying bottles of Colt45 in a tradition characterized by intoxicating laughs, endless story yelling and of course, loud videoke singing. A merienda and dinner was prepared for kids and other guests. It was like a reunion of some sort.

By midnight, all the tomadors and relatives have gone home, the videoke singing has stopped and the mess was just waiting to be cleaned up. Everything we have prepared was consumed as it was supposed to be. My Father was already sleeping comfortably. I wonder that if he's sleeping, he could be dreaming of having the happiest birthday his entire life.

Iskul Bukol : A Trilogy

Episode 1. Grade School: Incredible Winner.

This story took place when I was twelve years old, when I was in grade six to be more particular. I represented my school, a public elementary, to the Division Level of the 5th Caltex DECS DOST Young Scientist Quiz. Most of the participants, totaling fifty, were from private schools and Montessori all over Cabanatuan. It's not really the typical quiz competition wherein sets of questions of varied difficulties are asked of each contestant and they get to answer in papers. It's a plain paper test of sixty questions that we have to answer in two hours. After that the papers would be checked and whoever gets the highest number of correct answers shall be declared winner. Moment of truth came, the third and second placers were already announced and I was ready to go back home. When the contestant number of the first placer was announced, no one was standing; I have no idea that it was me. I bested the best. I won the competition, I couldn't believe it and so were the organizers.

The following day, the Division School Superintendent for Science came to our school, not to congratulate me but to administer the same test that I took the other day. The same exam I have almost perfected and that made me won over a lot of students from different schools. I would have taken that re-taking against the organizers for it appeared that they were doubting the results and so my capabilities. Without malice, I retook the exam, right after; it was checked by the Superintendent herself. Proving that I indeed deservingly and honestly won the contest, I got the same number of correct answers as I did during the actual competition. There wasn't much to say after it, fairly and clearly, I won the contest. I was really the best. In two months, I got to represent the school in the regional Finals. I competed as a team together with the second and third placers though it was made to appear that I was the runner up. Glad we have lost. I couldn't take much of the discrimination. It has to end and it did.

I came from a public elementary school, but it doesn't mean I was inferior and less intelligent. I walked my way to school in slippers but it doesn't mean that I was incapable and incredible to win a contest of pure stock knowledge. I came from a public school, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't be the best

Episode 2. Forbidden School.

Oh my high school life! Would you believe that I didn’t attend my high school graduation? Just as everyone else’s excited to receive their certificates, I chose to excuse my presence in that once in a lifetime event. The reason: failed expectation. I landed on the 5^th spot of the honorable mention, to my dismay and resentment. The culprit: the revised criteria for determining the honor list, 50% academic and 50% curricular. I might have excelled well ion academics but in participation with extra curricular activities, so it weighed me down. I felt it so unfair to have the two criteria combined. They could just have given the dumb but talented their some special awards for recognition and let alone academics determine the real honor list. Sad to say, some have to be pleased and some, including me, have to be sacrificed. I could have ruined the occasion by marching in protest, but I realized that the rest of the graduates have nothing to do with what has happened to me and so they deserved a memorable occasion. My silent protest was to be vindicated four years later

Episode 3. Dilemma.

My high school’s experience was a bit traumatic, so entered college, I didn’t stress myself out with too much concentration on studies, home works and assignments. I have found time to relax and focused on some previously unattended aspects such shabby dressing, making some friends, exploring outside school, etc. But soon enough I realized that I couldn’t afford to be lazy and lousy like the rest of my gangs because I have a battle to win and I have to prove something. Caught between the newfound joy of schooling and the ardent desire to get back the honor that was stolen from me in high school, I gave the former, with pain in my heart. Just as I was beginning to love and enjoy school, I was once again isolated from organization, from girls, from friends and from happiness so I could focus more on how to prove my high school wrong. It was a difficult choice. I could have at least as many girlfriends as I would have wanted. What I’ve got after four years was gold medal instead. I graduated at the top of my class. I was vindicated; just the same, I have missed some of the real thing.