Awit ng Puso

Natulog ako kanina nang alas singko ng umaga, nagising ako nang bandang alas dose. Ngayun alas kwatro na nang hapon. Time, i've been passing time. Ganun lang yun? Ganun na lang ba yun? Naubos ang isang araw nang wala man lang nangyari. Wala man lang tumawag? O di kaya nagreply na email patungkol sa aking mga trabahong inaplayan. Where is the love? Karma na ba to? Beh buti nga? Pinagdidiskitahan ba ako ng tadhana at lahat ng mga tao at bagay na ginago ko dati? Ito na ba ang kabayaran sa aking di mabilang na kautuan at kawalan ng hustisya sa kapwa? Masyado naman yatang mabigat at halata. Please be good to me. Masakit sa dibdib.

Nakakapagtaka. Nakakalungkot. Kung kailan pa bilang na ang mga araw ko eh saka pa ako dinededma ng mga trabaho. Kailangan kita. Magaling naman ako ah. Dati pinagkakaguluhan ako, ako pa ang namimili kung saan ako magtratrabahong kompanya. Ngayun, ultimo mo tawag, text o email eh wala akong matanggap. Natatakot na ba sila sa akin? Nakakasindak ba ang aking resume? Nakakaligalig ba ang aking credentials? Naisip ko minsan baguhin na lang ang nilalaman ng aking qualifications para lang may pumansin sa akin. Balat kayo pala. Masyado yata kasing high profile at kung iisipin ang aking madalas na paglipat ng kompanya, may kadudaduda pa? May dapat ba silang ikabahala o ikatakot? Marami.

Masagwa ang pakiramdam ko ngayun, nagmamalaki ngunit gusto kong maluha. Wala man lang akong mapaghingahan ng saloobin, yung taong makakaunawa at kakampi sa akin kahit na kunwari lang. Wala si Michael Jackson para sabihing "you are not alone" o kahit si Steven Bishop na magsabing "i will be here". Malamang sumaya na ako kahit papaano kung makita si Monica para magsabing "for you i will".

Nawawalan na ba ako ng kinang na parang bituing walang ningning? Masyado na ba akong naging notorious at pasaway? Humaba na nga ba ang aking sungay at kailangan nang putulin? Mukhang di na yata ako mabenta. Lost in space na nga ba ako? Ang sama naman nang timing. Lahat sa akin ay umiwas, parang kanta ni Whitney Houston, "all at once". Hindi ko alam kung kaya akong mapaniwalain ni Mariah Carey at sabihing, "i can make it throught he rain, i can stand up once again" o kaya eh ni R. Kelly sabay dribble to the tune of "i believe i can fly, i believe i can touch the sky".

Si Wency Cornejo nagtatanong kung "Hanggang" kailan ko ba kakayaning maniwala kay Gloria Gaynor na "i will survive" o kay Laarni Lozada pag sinabi niyang "manalig ka, malapit na". Meron ba akong sapat na "power of the dream" galing kay Celine Dion para maitodo ko ang pag emote na "my heart will go on" ala Charice Pempengco. Sana nga makaya ko to. Gabi na marahil sa inyo, sana sa inyong pagtulog eh isama niyo ako sa inyong mga panalangin at magdilang anghel, "i pray you'll be our eyes and watch us where we go, and help us to be wise in times when we don't know".

Anime!

Matagal ko ng gustong gawin 'to. Ang maging ka-hairdo si Sun goku? Bwahahaha anime! Pagbigyan nio na ako, Halloween naman!

So True...

This is from BlogThings.Com, telling you what your name hidden meaning is. It is just so amazing how mine could be so true and so close to the real thing, every single description of it. Parang this time, gusto ko nang maniwala sa hula. Hahaha

Perlas na Bilog, huwag tutulog tulog, sabihin kaagad sa akin ang sagot. Ba be bi bo bu......

What Sherwin Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

-0-

Ngayun eh, isa isahin natin ang mga sinabi ni BlogThings...

First and foremost, gusto kong liwanagin na hindi ko binayaran si BlogThings para sabihin niyang ako ay isang TOTAL PACKAGE. Ehem ehem..Magaling lang talaga siyang maghula, o kung nakita man niya ako sa personal eh iisipin kong malinaw pa ang kanyang paningin at mataas pa rin ang kanyang taste. Four "S", suave, sexy, smart, strong..that's Sherwin! hahaha

I got the WHOLE WORLD UNDER MY SPELL daw, syet parang pasan ko ang daigdig! Ay mali pala, parang ganito yan, kaya kong paikutin ang mundo sa aking mga palad. Jusko, ano kayang mundo yun? hindi kaya KULANGOT lang yun? AT maimpluensiya daw ako? Of course, i am a bad influence!

I Like to CRUSH THE WEAK. Totoo yan, user ako, opportunista minsan. Pag alam kong mahal mo ako at hindi mo ako kayang pakawalan, lalo akong nagiging spoiled at nagsasamantala. Bad. Mahilig din akong manlait. Sori sa lahat ng na okray ko. Kasalanan ko bang natutulog kayo sa pancitan ng magsabog ang Diyos ng biyaya mula sa langit. Mag ingat din na ako ay makasalubong, baka mapagsabihan kitang "Get out of the way, you lower species of life forms!". Hahaha

I am ORIGINAL. Oo wala akong kaparis. In English, I am unique. In all aspects, iba ang pananaw ko. Need not say much, people will attest na mahirap akong ispelengin. Daig ko pa daw ang ALIEN!

SUCCESS COMES RATHER EASY. That's true. Swerte ba yun o talagang magaling at maabilidad lang ako? Sa trabaho o san man, ako ang namimili. Kaya minsan wala akong pakialam kahit mawalan ako ng work kasi alam kong ang daming naghihintay sa akin na ibang company (yes todo na to!).

SELFISH? Well, siguro yung un part na hindi ako nagtitiwala sa ibang tao easily. Hindi rin ako mahilig magdivulge about personal matters sa kung sino sino lang (sa blog pwede pa).

FRIENDLY? Ewan ko ba, kasi siguro mysterious ang dating ko kaya some people finds it fascinating na kilalanin ako. Eh sino ba naman ako para tumanggi kung pagkain na ang lumalapit sa manok di ba. Mabait naman akong maging friend eh, pero super bwisit naman kapag naging kaaway mo.

EASY GOING ATTITUDE. Prinsipyo ko yan sa buhay, live each day as if it's your last. Huwag masyadong problemahin ang problema, problema lang yan (ano daw?). I mean enjoy life kahit may worries, life itself is a reason to celebrate. Kaya kung may gustong makipag sex sa yo, go lang. Hahaha malay mo mamaya atakihin ka sa puso hindi mo man lang na enjoy ang sex! Hahaha joke lang po.

FLAKY? Actually hindi ko alam ang meaning ng flaky. Alam ko lang eh sky flakes! Hahaha

I am WILD?! CRAZY?!. OMG! How do you know? Nag check in na ba tayo? Hahaha. Pag sa hindi ko kakilala, siempre behave ako, pero within my circle of friends, todo max naman lolo mo.

CRAZY? Maybe that sums up everything little things na ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. It's my life.

TON OF ENERGY. Hindi lang tons, megatons pa! Kangkarot daw magaslaw, pero hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon. Hyper, Pure Energy, yes.

I am a HANDFUL. Pwede ring mouthful! O walang malisya yan! Kayo talaga. HIndi naman ako maangas. Kwela lang.

DANGEROUSLY CHARMING! Nax naman, pamatay tong linyang to! So people, beware of me, coz my charm is dangerous! Hahaha. Ilan na ba ang lumuha? ang umasa? ang nagmakaawa? Hahaha Hindi ako manloloko, mambobola at manggagamit, kaya please lang, TUKSO! Layuan mo ako!

I KNOW WHAT I WANT. Oo naman, mukha lang akong hindi mapapagkatiwalan at mababaw, pero deep in my heart marami din naman akong plano sa sarili ko at para sa pamilya, at alam ko kung paano ko maaachieve yun. I just dont take a sitting down, happy go lucky ako pero may side akong seryoso pag dating sa totoong buhay.

I HAVE THE POWER TO RULE THE WORLD. Grabe para naman akong si Puma Ley-R na gagawin ang lahat ng kasamaan para lang makapaghari sa mundo! Hahaha wala po akong planong pumasok sa Pulitika. In my own humble ways, i dont want to rule the world, but maybe just CHANGE the world to make it a better place to live in. Wish ko rin ang WORLD PEACE. Thank you.

TIGHTYLY WOUND? Madali lang pong gumaling ang sugat ko! Hahaha hindi ko alam meaning na to eh. Cencia na.

YOU DONT STICK WITH ANY ONE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. OMG! Na naman, bakit mo alam, naging tayo ba ng two days! But honestly totoo to, ewan ko ba, hindi ako makuntento, palaging naghahanap?! FLIRT! Hahaha. Carinderiang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain.

GENEROUS LANG SIGURO, in Tagalog, mapagbigay. Hahaha. But seriously, gusto ko rin naman ng someone na magpapatino sa akin..the LOVE OF MY LIFE..

INTUITIVE AND WISE. It's written all over in this blogsite.

ACTIVE IMAGINATION. Hoolala! Malakas talaga ako pagdating dito. I can see the future, yung hinaharap ba! LOL. Underwear nga eh, na aarouse ako eh, Joke lang po. (Puro yata kabastusan ang nasa isip ko ngayun ah). But seriously, vivid at grand ang aking imagination, marami na akong naisip na telenobela, mga screenplays, mga tv shows format, mga drawings na hiling ko eh balang araw ay magkatotoo.

PRONE TO PARANOIA AT JEALOUSY. Seloso akong tao. Hindi lang halata pero super possesive ako kahit na minsan eh wala naman akong karapatan. Suspicious din, malisyoso. Kaya payo nga sa akin ng iba, tama lang na wala akong commitment at friends na pwede kong pagselosan.

The Reasons

Now it can be told, the box will be opened. Some intriguing questions about this inevitable thing I call life and the reasons I am doing or not doing it.

WHY I BLOG?
Inggitero kasi ako. I live and breathe the adage “if others can, why can’t I”. I hope to learn and do every single thing that others don’t normally do. In a more positive perspective, I would say it’s not actually inggit but feeling inspired lang. I appreciate talents and I take inspirations from their works. Kaya nung minsan akong nakabasa ng blogs, I was motivated to made for myself. I have found a better outlet of my emotions, my heartaches, my successes and my life.

WHY RESIGN?
I am not happy with what I am doing or better yet with what I am not doing. Daig ko pa ang security guard na nagbabantay sa sarili kong computer at monitor baka may numakaw o dumekwat. Wala akong ginagawa sa office. It may sound absurd and ridiculous but that is the truth. I am a busy person. When I am not doing anything, my thoughts take me back home and na-hohomesick ako. I need some distractions, aside of course from myself. I need a real job closer to what I like.

WHY I AM IN DUBAI?
Said before, search for a greener pasture, pero jusko, wala pa lang pasture dito, puro disyerto saka buhangin at init, pero in fairness, may mga camels! At siempre GOLD! And there’s really plenty of it here, you don’t have to look farther and search for it, kasi kung magaling ka talagang mambola at magaling ka talaga (as in professionally), hindi malayong maka goldmine ka at sasabihin mong mas ok pala ang disyerto kesa sa pasture.

WHY I WALK FAST?
I want to reach my destinations earlier. Mabilis talaga akong maglakad, walang traffic signals para sa akin. When I am walking down the street, I don’t get myself distracted with the things around me. Derecho lakad lang. Wala paki. Kaya madalas napagkakamalang suplado. True. Kaya nga ang firm ng mga hita ko eh kakalakad.

WHY I TALK FAST?
That I don’t know why? Nang lumabas ako sa puerta ng Nanay ko eh ganyan na yata ako. Pero favorable naman sa akin ang mabilis kong pagsasalita. Minsan namura ko na pala yung kausap ko eh hindi pa niya namalayan. Pero madalas din, sa work, hindi raw ako magets sa mga sinasabi ko. Then I ask myself, nasan ba ang problema? Ako bang 1000 words per minute o ang kausap kong mahina ang comprehension. Well, kaya ko naman mag adjust eh so better na to kesa maging kalevel ko si Kuya Cesar!

WHY I AM STILL SINGLE?
Jhuice asks me this intriguing question. Hello as if naman siya eh married na! Anyway, marriage on my part is probably one thing na ikakamamatay ng Nanay ko! Ako kasi ang breadwinner sa amin, lahat, as in lahat, ng pangangailangan ng pamilya ko eh ako ang nagproprovide. And I don’t want to engage into something na alam kong ikakasama ng loob nila. I know I am on the marrying stage na, it’s my right, pero I love my family so much ayoko silang mapabayaan kung magkakaroon ako ng ibang priority.

WHY MY NOO-LINE IS EXPANDING?
Genetics! That’s the safest answer. Yan lang namana ko saTatay ko. How unlucky I am. Pero siguro manifestation yan ng pagiging “bright” ko. Pwede rin naman sign ng mga problema ko sa buhay. O talagang tumatanda na lang tayo and that’s one thing na hindi maiiwasan.

WHY I DISLIKE PEOPLE
May ganun? It’s not really something of a dislike, I just prefer to be alone. Lumaki kasi akong loner at sanay mag-isa kaya I really find it difficult to mingle with other people. Ayoko rin na matataong lugar at ayoko rin umaatend sa mga okasyon. Ewan ko ba, pero parang walang ibang gagawin sa akin ang tao kundi saktan ako kaya minsan inuunahan ko na sila. But I am trying very hard to open up my doors and embrace the fact the world is one big happy place, kailangan lang matutunan na we are part of it together with other people na kinaaayawan ko.

WHY I SING MY HEART OUT SA VIDEOKE?
Tanong ni jhuice. As in? Ganun akong kumanta? Performance level ba? Di ko kaya napapansin yun pero whatever I do kasi gusto ko maging sincere and honest. So nacacaried away lang siguro kaya emote na emote ako pag hawak ko na ang mikropono. Sabi nga ng mga judges sa mga singing contest, pag kumakanta ka, dapat may emotions at nakakakonek ka sa mga listeners. O di ba? Felling scholar na rin ako ni Mr. M!

WHY I ALWAYS INCLUDE HALF CRAZY IN MY VIDEOKE PLAYLIST
Kasi I have been half crazy once in my life. Yung tipong nawindang ako at parang naiwanan ng pag-ikot ng mundo noong mga panahon ako’y binigo ng tadhana at pinagkuntyabahan ng pag-ibig at pagmamahal. Yung tipong pauwi ako sa Kamuning Road pero di ko namalayang nasa Tomas Morato na pala ako. Hay at least I have moved on.

WHY I AM A FAN OF CHARICE?
Coz I can relate to her (ano daw? San galing yun, mangarap ba ng gising?). Because she makes me proud as a Filipino. She has proven na kahit hindi ka mukhang artistahin, pwede ka pa rin sumikat because of you TALENT. Na kung hindi ka man appreciate ng mga tao na malapit sa ‘yo, somewhere in this world will. Truly, you cannot bring a good man down.

WHY I AM A KAPAMILYA?
It is where you belong, it is where your heart is. San lupalop ng mundo ka man dalhin ng iyong paa, uuwi at uuwi ka pa rin sa iyong pamilya. Feeling ko kasi, ABS-CBN talaga ng istasyong may PUSO, yun iba ewan baka pusod o puson. Substance wise, panalo ang kanilang mga shows, hindi mababaw at hindi TELEBOBO. World class ika nga. Hindi rin sila mahilig sa sensational journalism, yung tipong yung newscast eh nagiging comedy show with matching “excuse me po, sabay ubo at dahak ng newscaster”. Genuine Pinoy ang environment hindi tulad sa Timog na napaka artificial nang dating, mababaw, exaggerated at maangas.

WHY I DON”T WEAR SHORTS IN PUBLIC?
I am not proud of my legs. Yes! Para naman akong sasali sa beauty contest na to ah! Kasi po may balat po ako sa hita hanggang sa sakong na kung titingnan mo eh parang banil o libag na hindi ko matanggal tanggal. Kakainis nga eh, kaya di ako nagsusuot ng shorts pag nasa labas ako ng bahay kasi nakakahiya. Short na lampas tuhod oo pero short ba rin ban g tawag don?

WHY I AM NOT CLOSE TO MY RELATIVES?
I am just giving back the unfavor. Kasi nung bata ako, hindi man lang ako napansin ng mga kamag anak ko kasi hindi ako kamukha ng lahi nila. As if sila eh German Shepherd at ako ay isang dakilang Askal. Kahit na ako ay palaging first honor, wa epek ang brilliant mind ko, echapuwera palagi. Kaya ayun, nagkulong na lang ako sa bahay naming buong buhay ko at nag aral. Ngayun malaki na ako at medyo successful na in life, ayoko nang baguhin ang nakasanayan ko kahit pa this time eh sila na ang lumalapit sa kin para makipagkwntuhan. (Ganun parang kill bill ang drama ng lolo mo?”

WHY I LOVE CHOWKING?
Loyal customer ako dati ng Chowking sa Shaw Boulevard opposite Shangrila Mall. Diyan ako madalas mag dinner, halos three times on weeknights. Siempre palagi kong order yung chicken laureate. Dapat din palaging may chilli sauce, toyo saka calamansi. Kahit minsan may nagkwekwento sa akin kung paano daw ka “WEIRD” piniprepare ang pagkain doon, di ko pinapansin kasi nakasanayan ko na talagang magdinner dito. Besides, open kasi to 24 hours ang branch na to kaya minsan wala na rin choice kapag wala na ibang makitang makakainan.

WHY I POSTED MYSELF IN YOUTUBE DANCING THE PAPAYA?
Hahaha, glad tinanggal ko na to! Wala lang, naiinggit lang ako ulit. That time kasi eh super popular ang Papaya ni Edu Manzano kaya naisip ko rin gumawa rin ng sarili kong video at ilagay sa Youtube. Pero contrary to what I have expected, jusko panay masasamang comments ang nareceive ko kaya naman tinanggal ko na siya. How gross! May nagsabi ba naman don na mukha daw akong sinaniban ni satanas na nakuryente at nangisay. Tama ba yun, ang sama nila.

WHY I LOVE GOING TO MOVIES?
Living alone in Manila, I didn’t have any vices or diversions aside from movies. Nakakalibang, pampalipas oras, pampaantok, pang-aksaya ng pera (as if naman ang laki ng sweldo ko dati). Second home ko na yata ang sinehan after office. Minsan dun na rin ako kumakain at nagmimit with friends. Parang ako nasa ibang lugar pag nanunuod ako ng movies, nakakalimutan ko ang mga problema ko kahit panandalian lang. Sa ilang oras na pagtalikod ko sa realidad ng buhay, naging masaya ako kapiling ang mga bituin sa gabing madilim.

Pinoy sa Likod ng Kurtina

Over a thousand Filipinos arrive in Dubai every month.

And why not? Literally, the sun shines here all year round; prosperity is in the air; and it's a place where people have reasons to dream of waking up in the morning as millionaires or with kilos of gold on their lap!

Yun nga lang, habang hindi pa nangyayari yun, iba ang nakikita ng maraming Pinoy pagdilat nila sa umaga --- kurtina!

Betcha by golly wow! Paano ko ie-explain to fascinated Pinoys back home our living condition here!

Noong una akala ko isolated cases. But with the skyrocketing apartment rents in this City of Gold , such conditions are becoming the norm.

Sideways...sidesteps
Hindi yan dance step. That's the latest move ngayon sa mga sharing flats. Sa sobrang liit ng space, patagilid ang galaw. Kaya minsan, mga ka-flatmates, hindi na magkakitaan. "Hoy, where have you been, ba? Hindi ka na umuuwi sa flat!" Kasi nga lagi silang naka-sideview!

Warning: Smoking is dangerous to your room.
Hindi health reasons ang dahilan bakit bawal magyosi, no! Ang styrofoam kuya!

Yes, naunahan ng Pinoy ang IKEA sa innovation na yan --- Yes, styrofoam walls, styrofoam doors, styrofoam room. Di ba nga naman, styrofoam keeps you fresh! Para kang gulay, o kaya ice candy. Pero siguro mas feel mo minsan na 'tuna' ka, o di kaya 'sirena' kung feel mong si Marian ka.

"Ate, di ba fire hazard yan?" "Anong fire ka dyan? Rent ang mas nakakamatay dito!"
"Illegal ang partions sa Dubai . At least ang styrofoam, pag nagkahulihan, mabilis sa baklasan. Gets mo?!!!" "Yes, Ate."

Therefore, 'no smoking': ang sirena baka maging daing!

Burj Al 'Cupboards'
Hindi lang Emaar Properties ang may 'K' na magtayo ng skyscrapers? Haven't we heard, the Philippines is a major supplier of architects in Dubai ? In other words, nasa dugo natin yan! Kaya ba ng Arabong gumawa ng rooms out of cupboards, luggages and shoe boxes?

Dati sa airport lang bida ang mga luggages, ngayon multi-purpose na: dividers na rin sila --- para ang isang kwarto maging lima !

Pampataas sila sa mga cupboards kasama ng mga shoe boxes na pinaka-antenna. Siyempre, the taller the better --- you keep your neighbor's eyes away.

Now Showing
Pagpasok ko ng flat, akala ko sinehan, ang daming kurtina. Mga kuarto pala. Pero ang cute, cinematic!!! Parang barangay, complete with eskinitas. Kada bukas ng telon, parang movie --- sari-saring life. May natutulog, may nag-eemote, may nka-curlers, may nakasimangot. Sa panlimang kurtina, may nag-totong-its, sa pang-anim, may naggugupit.

Ang gandang movie, di ba? "Ang Pinoy sa Likod ng Kurtina!" Paraisong Kurtina Ayyy! Our Paraisong Kurtina. It can make you laugh, it can make you cry.

Be proud of our Paraisong Kurtina.
It exists because we'd rather send our money home than spend more for our comfort. Within its walls, lies our desire for a little privacy, our groans, our tears, our dreams, our struggle for some little savings. My curtain says a lot. It says, "I have saved again, inay; I'll be able to send money next month."

O ano? Dream mo pa bang pumunta ng Dubai ????

Just Friends

After four days of no communication whatsoever, I reconciled with a friend. It took him only one text to bring me back, he texted me, "Daya mo, lagi na lang ako ang suko". I wasn't really sure where our misunderstanding, if there's any, have stemmed from. It's just that one day he stopped texting, calling and emailing me. As far as I am aware of, I have not done anything to embarras him or make him feel bad about me. The only thing I can remember during the last time that we have spoken, I mentioned to him in all honesty that he should stop seeing and start forgetting those people who only have nothing but pain and disappointment to give him back. For four days, though I don't think it's fair to assume, maybe he has tried.

My friend is gay and he has been very vocal to let me know that he likes me. I have never given it any serious thought though sometimes I want to tell him to stop as it is making me feel so awkward, uneasy and uncomfortable. During that last time that we have talked, maybe I was able to convey that message impliedly and he got the point more or less. If he was embarrased, or hurt or did feel bad, I don't know sure. I have no intention, I just wanted to set things right and straight.

So for four days, no one has bothered me. I have afforded to change my blog's lay-out and I was able to recuperate from days of less sleeps and nocturnal blogging. I was back to my roots and of being domesticated, far from anyone's attention and distraction. I was happy and free while someone else was "getting over someone else". Though I knew something was happening, I gave him all the time to ponder on. I knew in time he'd realized that it's out of my league, that our friendship will endure even without pushing it to some undesirable limits.

Sometimes I blame myself for being so nice and lovable. Girls, guys and gays couldn't help but fall, even friends and that's the worst of all.

Funny Videos

I was searching for some porn (thats's joke) videos on Youtube but these are what I've got instead:

Paano na Kaya?

Bugoy Drilon, PDA Season 2 2nd Grand Placer is out to prove that he should have been the Grand Star Dreamer. The boy from Bicol, who confuses many of his sexuality has won the hearts of many because of his genuinely unique singing talent albeit his annoyingly and persistent dance step. His song from the season’s compilation album, “Paano na Kaya”, composed by Maestro Ryan Cayabyab is slowly making an entry to the airwaves because of its infectious melody and heartfelt lyrics. The song is about the peril of falling in love with a friend.

The song is fast becoming a pop favorite not just because of its sentimental and poignant message, but due to its intriguing background. Many people believe that the song was specifically written for Bugoy because of his rumored closeness and attraction to another PDA scholar named Sen. Matter of fact is, they have been the subject of many blogs and sites giving malice to their intimacy and closeness. As such, in many forums, people are saying that “Paano na Kaya” is an aptly themed gay song inspired from Bugoy’s suppressed feelings for Sen. But nonetheless the song, notwithstanding its supposed backdrop, is beautifully crafted in its simplicity and truthfulness.

But how is it really to fall in love with a friend? Does it happen overnight? What are the risks involved? If you fall in love with a friend, is it better to just keep it inside or better let her/him know? According to the first four lines of the song, it is a mess to fall in love with a friend especially if you have been friends together for so long. On the other hand, harboring a special feelings for a friend can drive you crazy and can be fatal like a bomb ready to explode anytime.

Labs Kita Okay Ka Lang (Star Cinema) is the story of Bujoy (Jolina Magdangal) and Ned (Marvin Agustin). They started off as childhood friends who found themselves falling in love in cold Baguio City. The movie's most famous lines read:

"Oh yes I'm just your friend, kaibigan mo lang ako, and I know I made the most stupid mistake of falling in love with my best friend, now get out of my way and get out of my life!"

The chorus part of the song talks about how it feels when you have fallen in love with your friend. You enjoy the feelings but somehow you are afraid to express it. You try to find the reasons but you only arrive at the grounds, why it happens, why now and of all the people whom to fall with, why it has to be with a friend. The last lines of the song mention the time when all feelings have to be known, it’s full of hope that whatever happens, if she/he would accept it, better, if not, then it’s gonna be a little hard to bear but to remain friends is the least consolation you can get.

Among the new batch of scholars of PDA Season 2, it seems Bugoy has the biggest potential to cut it through our so-called talent infested music industry. His voice and singing style is different and his personal background is quite a draw. Never mind if sometimes his performance gets messy because of his irritatingly exaggerated dance steps, his sheer singing talent is enough to sell an album and with “Paano na Kaya” as his first single, success isn’t that far for this promdi guy who believed that to achieve your dreams, you must work hard and live with it.

Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2: Ang Pagtatapos

Like any other school, Pinoy Dream Academy (PDA) wrapped up its season with a grand graduation finale last weekend. After three months of rigorous training, performance examination and all the drama behind the scholars’ dream, Laarni Lozada was declared as the 2nd Grand Star Dreamer in a celebration filled with show stopping performances, great upsets, loud shrieks and jam-packed audience at the Cuneta Astrodome. The “Independent Woman” from Sultan Kudarat, a virtual unknown prior to joining PDA, bested the heavy favorite Bugoy who came in far second and even five time Star Scholar Liezel Garcia who just managed to grab the fourth spot.

Talent Over Attitude
It was an emotional victory for Laarni Lozada who struggled in the early part of the contest and was in danger of elimination in her very first week in the academy. She also got in spats with fellow scholars because of her constant mood swings and some shades of attitude problem. But talent wise, Laarni is said to be the most gifted of them all because of her wide vocal range. She always impressed the audience and the judges week after week with her performances. PDA, first and foremost, is a talent search and as such, has succeeded in presenting Laarni as this season’s cream of the crop.

The Great Upsets
Laarni’s victory came costly for others. For one, a lot of people were rooting for Bugoy Drilon to win the top prize. Aside from being uniquely different, in both attitude and singing style, Bugoy’s single in their compilation album is the one getting the most airplays and has the potential of becoming a hit. Laarni’s patriotic piece, “Manalig Ka’, on the other hand is not the type the masa will dig to hear. As for Bugoy, he’s still thankful for the opportunity for bringing him closer to his dreams. His emotional speech was the most applauded when he said that “Mangarap po tayo. Kahit simpleng tao pwedeng mangarap!”

Another disappointment was when balladeer and former Pinoy Idol finalist Miguel Mendoza took the 3rd place instead of early favorite Liezl. Many people believed he doesn’t have the voice and he’s too bland for a performer and he just won because of the text votes lobbed by his wealthy family. Well, that might be a little unfair to say considering that Miguel, aside from singing, is also a gifted composer and musician.

The Rest of Six
Though she has been the front runner early on the show, Liezl Garcia of Dubai wasn’t able to translate her equally unique vocals to important text votes. And as such, our Beyonce wannabe plummeted only to take the 4th spot, taking home nothing but the opportunity, like what she said, to be trained by the best mentors inside the academy.

The bottom two PDA finalists are more of showbiz materials than singing sensations. Blessed with pretty faces rather than amazing set of pipes,

Chris Pastor and Van Pojas delivered mostly so-so performances all through out their stay in the Academy and as such, not so many were expecting any one of them to claim the top prize. Though winners are determined via text votes, viewers and PDA supporters have matured enough to know who deserves to be real singers.

End of School
So another PDA season has passed. From an original cast of fifteen scholars and a handful of mentors for voice, dance, performance and counseling, we have witnessed before our TV screens the lives of our favorite scholars, their attitudes, their aspirations, their backgrounds, their transformation and even how each of them have been chosen to be expelled one by one.

For three months that we’ve been watching their every note, we have come to love them for their singing prowess or hate them for their nasty habits and attitudes. By and large, PDA is one great show to watch, compared to other reality singing shows. More than looking for the new singing idol, it goes deeper into the making of an all around performer.

The Alumni
Many scholars of PDA Season 1 have gone successful, most notably are Yeng Constantino, Jay-R Siaboc and Ronnie Liang. Yeng’s albums have all gone platinum. Jay-R has successfully ventured to TV acting while Ronnie Liang has also made it big as a balladeer.

PDA Season 2 graduates still have to prove their worth as winners. Their careers have just begun. And while they start a life with their new found popularity, may their talents, coupled with the lessons they’ve learned from their mentors guide in achieving fast their dreams, which not so long ago was just a star that they were trying to reach.

Veggy Good

I grew up in the province, in a community surrounded by fruit bearing trees and backyard gardens. Life was simple and food was never scarce. Vegetable of different kinds were grown abundantly in the neighborhood and you could ask for it for free or at its cheapest price. That’s how I had liked vegetables. My mother would always cooked vegetables telling us it’s healthy though I know for a fact that was all she could afford to prepare. Nonetheless I am grateful that she had more than instilled in us that character. We have not just memorized the “Bahay Kubo”, we had digested it!

Sa Likod po ng Aming Bahay..

When I was small, a cup of steamy rice with steamed camote tops dipped in ginisang bagoong was enough to make a full satisfying meal. If it wasn’t pinakbet or ginisang kalabasa, it would be saluyot and labong or adobong sitaw on the table, one reason after another to enjoy the meal and be thankful to the Above for showing us there’s a bounty at the back of our homes. Then it had gone beyond having left with no choice, but rather habituating to something clean and healthy.

That was something I have truly enjoyed being in the province, which, needless to say, is like being far away from toxic, from artificiality and from the perils of instant and preserved foods. When I started working in Manila, my intake of vegetable have dramatically gone less because most of the time I would have my meal in the restaurant or fastfood. My love for vegetables was overshadowed by practicality and hunt for convenience. Nevertheless, I made sure to make up for my misses every time I would go back to the province on weekends.

Being a lover of vegetables, I had never been hospitalized in my entire life for whatever medical reasons and I owe it, I believe, to my strong resistance from taking vegetables since I was a kid. Aside from that, vegetables have made me smart, talented, fat-free and less closer to the risks of high blood pressures, heart attacks, certain cancers and many other diseases. I would gladly trade in kilos of chickens, pork or fish in exchange for baskets of home grown fruits and vegetables. I just love it.

My Hair Do’s

Aside from patience and forbearance, hair is something I wish I could have been blessed with more. The only thing I have probably inherited from my Father, my diminishing hairline is fast becoming prominent, aiding more to its unstoppable attrition is Dubai’s terribly hot climate and water. But I only suffer this unwanted natural phenomenon down the slopes of my crowning glory. In other parts of my body, hairs are growing incessantly at their rowdiness, up from the feet to the tummy, the armpit, the chin, between the lips and the nose and the sideburns. I have never asked for explanation.

So now I am trying to grow my hair in the head as long as I could. If its grows long, then I can let it loose to cover my wide-becoming forehead. Longer hair is capable of being styled in many ways, but the problem is, my hair grows curly when it is long. When I put on gel, its gets itchy and I get dandruff. If I just let it as is, it’s dry, its wind blown and stubborn. To fix it, I now used a strong-hold hairspray, not only that it allows me to style my hair in ways that I want, but also grow it long without worrying about the curls and the sticky gel aftermath.

Ever since, I have never been conscious of my hair, just lately when the I look at the mirror and obviously it’s getting fewer and thinner. I remember when I was younger, I only had one hairstyle until the time that I went to college. It was the Jose Rizal hairdo, just a fitting tribute to the one person I idolized back then. Hahaha.

When I entered college, I heard a whisper that was meant only for my third ear, “go and shave your hair”, I have gone “almost gone“ for the first time. The sense of freedom was tremendous; no more hiding behind the sidelines of my physical appearance. I am what I am, straight forward. It is what it is and it feels great, light and empty of meaning. Believe me, many had complimented my new haircut, it was a refreshing prelude after a disappointing and heart breaking high school graduation.

When I started working, I made some experiments with my hair style only to find out that I have missed the time when those trends were still appropriate. I have gone hair coloring once and it was widely lambasted. It was an elegant suicide. Said it was unbecoming of a someone working in the office as a Financial Analyst. Since then I went back to my “semi calbo” look and had not grown it more than an inch long. I also started wearing cap all the time when I wasn’t in the office or when I wasn’t sleeping. That might have contributed largely why my forehead is fast becoming wide as a chopping board.

Hair is our crowning glory and unfortunately for many, it’s the first to go of our many borrowed faculties. It a sign of times. The worst thing is to lose it, together with the content of the head that it purports to cover.

Beijing 2008: Sad & Happy Notes

Our dream for the very first Olympic gold medal is still as elusive as the distant star. In the recent Beijing Games, our athletes have performed dismally and had we not sent any delegation to the event, it wouldn’t have made significant difference. Where did we go wrong? Or better yet I should ask, what wrong are they doing? If only they make singing, dancing, acting, backstabbing and corruption part of the Olympic Games, surely we will have a better or should I say, sure chance of showing up in the score board.

What a serious thought! But man, that is one irreparable problem we have I think. No matter how talented we Pinoys claim ourselves to be, unless we receive a genuine support from our government for training and education, unless the funds are flowed out to the right hands and not to the pockets of corrupt government officials, our dream for a first Olympic gold medal will forever be a dream.

-0-

The Games are over and now the web is infested with so many, as everyone claims, photos considered as the best of the Olympics. Kaya naman eto, nagcompile din ako ng mga pictures from the recent Games pero yung kakaiba at nakakatuwa.