Here I Go Again

Here I go again
After spending some time in hiatus from reading and writing
After running away from happiness and home
After estranging myself from family and friends
After slipping into a deep manhole of misery and afflictions
After shredding off ,y skin to assume a deceitful metamorphosis
After falling in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes

Here I go again
After the wages of incorrigibility, distrust and impatience
Comes the punishment, the frustrations, the tragedies and the failures
After sowing seeds of irreverence, ignorance, stubbornness and the unfading belief that life would always be good
Comes the harvest of heartaches, pains, tears and lesson learned

Here I go again
While I still am down there
I chose to MOVE ON
For the earth will never stand still no matter where we are at
The sun will continue to rise no matter how hard the rain falls
The moon will continue to shine despite the darkest hours that we may face to battle
The flowers will not cease to bloom despite the gravest of our sorrows and emotions
The birds will unstoppably soar the sky though all our hopes seem lost in the bottom of the sea
The spiders will continuously make their webs even though we may believe that ours is broken

So here I go again
Extending my arms from where I realize the true meaning of life
That life can't be forever good and serving
That we have to experience a fall so we can learn to bounce back
That life is a circle, sometimes we have to be down so we can look up

While I still am down there
I decided to MOVE ON
For if don't, no one will ever care
Because...

"When you smile, the world smiles at you,
Weep and you weep alone."

The Man I Am Missing

I am missing someone. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with this guy. I remember years ago, he was thin, pale, quiet, unadorned and very conservative. Looking back to the old days, he had simple aspirations in life, that is, to be of help to his family by finishing college and landing a job probably as an architect or a nurse. He had no friends except me and he had brought all his focus in honing the talents that God has given him (damned!, this guy got a basket of natural gifts). He used to speak less though I knew his heart was full of stories to tell.

We had no earlier pictures together, he’s very camera shy, he thinks he’s hideous.

After college, we parted ways. I left him actually, not because I needed to but because I wanted to. He’s too boring for a mate. He didn’t know anything beyond the most complex algebraic expressions or the elements that most commonly present in the atmosphere. He lived his life with books and the imaginary characters he found therein. He didn’t play any sports. He didn’t wear jeans. He had never been to a mall until I invited him one time during our second year in college. My god! He’s a hermit living in a cave of closed identity. He had lived a simple life but I had never once heard him complain or protest why others have to be more blessed.

Yeah, he maybe so probinsiano, but he’s way better than anyone you could ever find in the metro.

That’s what I had liked about him. Yes, he’s too corny but he’s true. He never lied, he never doubted anything that people told him, he’s very smart yet humble, he’s mysterious, he’s very different. When I came to Manila to work, I did change. I have liked all the new found things that I have not seen in the province and when I was still with him, the huge malls, branded clothes, gadgets, new friends and too many others to mention. I forgot about him just as my Friendster friends keep on growing. Then for a long time, I have not seen him. I don’t know if he’s dead already. There was no news of it.

He disappeared to anonymity, never took his college dreams and then..a news blackout.

So many years passed, I had not heard about him. How I wished I could have given him some complimentary gifts when I was still with San Miguel or invited him to the many occasions that I have spearheaded in our house. How I wished I could have talked to him and just simply take a trip down memory lane. But where is he? Now I am here in Dubai and friends are too hard to find, after so many things that have transpired, after dropping him from my priority list, after denying him a chance to go with the flow, after letting him alone, after leaving him lonely, his thoughts and character suddenly graced my imagination.

He was forgotten, but his character lingered somewhere at the back of my mind.

Could I be missing him? well, I must admit I am. But why? Maybe I got tired of the lights and the modern times and I am looking for some peace and truthfulness . I know he is not that hard to find, only if I will look closer and deeper within myself. I miss him, yeah, I am missing the man I used to be.

OktoberFest No More

Days to go and here comes October. Having worked with San Miguel Corporation for more than six years, October ushers in a tremendous ambiance of celebration not just for its employees but more importantly to the entire Philippine drinking population as well. On this period, nothing else comes to mind but overflowing beer, band rages, street parties and widespread fiesta. It’s time for San Miguel’s Oktoberfest!

For several years, I have been a part of Oktoberfest – now an officially DOT recognized event in our country. My employee ID was as good as an entrance pass and my various contacts in the Sales and Marketing Department has given access to enjoy the goodness of free flowing San Miguel beer. The kick off party usually begins on the first weekend of October in various simultaneous parties across the country. Together with friends and officemates, we just stay for a couple of hours because traditionally, as the party gets late, the crowd and the “outside crowd” becomes even more unruly and wild, and risk of being hit with flying empty bottles or showered with beer leftovers is uncompromising.

The Philippines is set to make it to the Guiness Book of World Records for the longest bar in the world--a staggering 600 meters in total, stretching along the length of San Miguel Avenue and winding down to Julia Vargas Avenue in Ortigas, Mandaluyong City. The bar, which easily bests the 240-meter record held by Taiwan, was one of the main attractions of the San Miguel Oktoberfest kick-off party held last September 5. The event, which also featured four stages and around 40 local bands and artists, also attempted to set a world record for the largest beer-toasting crowd. Third Eye Blind was featured as one of the main acts. Dubbed "San Miguel Oktoberfest 120," the event launched the longest-ever celebration of the world-renowned festival, now extended to 120 days.

Now I have resigned from San Miguel and decided to try my luck here in Dubai, Oktoberfest is one thing I truly miss most. Though I am not a beer lover by nature, the moments spent with friends while grooving to the music of the featured bands and the opportunity to just be there when it happens is something that I couldn’t find elsewhere. There are also beer here in Dubai, but as what the famous SMB commercial line said, “iba na ang may pinagsamahan.”

Traditionally, Oktoberfest lasts for a month, but for 2008, in celebration of the company's 120th anniversary, San Miguel has decided to make the celebration a four month long revelry of camaraderie, brotherhood, good times, exuberant parties and overflowing beer starting last September. “Siento biente na!” cried Manny Pacquiao. When there’s nothing left to take out of the wallet, Filipinos are sure to find a cunning way to produce money in time for that special occasion. In splendid irony, “pag sa pagkain walang pambili, pero pag inuman, lumalabas daw ang pera”.

Since I am miles away to be one with my friends in kicking off the celebration of Oktoberfest, only pictures of my friends have reached my mailbox as evidenced that Oktoberfest has indeed started. But hey, I might still be able to catch up the Closing Party if ever I go on vacation this December. If that happens, I will just text you and I will see you then. Cheers!

A Love Story

“Mabuti pa ang saging, may puso.” Ouch! Tinamaan yata ako don. Oo nga noh? Binalikan ko lahat ng previous entries ko at wala ngang ni isang love story akong naisulat. Hmmm…Bakit nga ba? Mas mabuti pa ba talaga ang saging kesa sa akin. Hindi naman siguro. Ayoko lang kasi ng dramatic na entry, na kadalasan din ay corny, na minsan namn ay OA, oh love! Where art thou? Pero sige, for a change, here comes a love story mula sa aking hindi masyadong malikhaing "imahinasyon". *Liar mode*

"Unang tingin pa lang niya sa akin, nabasa ko na sa kanyang mga mata na may gusto siyang iparating, Umiwas ako. Natakot. Hindi naman kasi pangkaraniwan ang lugar na kung saan kami nagkita. Baka may makapansin sa amin, ano pa ang isipin. Makalipas ang ilang oras na pagliliwaliw, nagpasya akong lumabas na at umuwi ng bahay. Umuulan noon, wala naman akong dalang payong o kung anong pantakip ng ulo man lang. Naghintay ako sa mataas na silong ng mall na yun. Maraming iba pa ang nagpapatila rin ng ulan. Maingay ang paligid, sinasabayan pa ng walang tigil na chismisan ng mga taong nasa likuran ko. Nakakainip. Mag alas onse na nang gabi non. Gusto ko ng magpahinga. Kapagdaka’y napatingin ako sa aking tagiliran, may isang taong nakamasid sa akin. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. Siya yun. Siya ang taong nakita ko kanina at iniwasan. Sinundan ba niya ako? O nagkataon lang? Di naman siguro kasi ilang oras na rin ang dumaan mula ng unang nagtagpo ang aming mga paningin. Malamang nagkataon lang at pauwi na rin siya. Wala rin siyang dalang payong.

Gusto ko nang suungin ang malakas na ulan para lang makauwi, pero baka naman ako’y magkasakit at mabasa ang aking Hush Puppies na sapatos, sayang naman kakabili ko pa lang. Habang ako’y nakatayo sa aking napapagal na mga hita, nararamdaman kong ang tao sa tagiliran ko ay nakamasid sa akin, na para bang naghihintay na siya’y aking sulyapan din. Nilingon ko siya kunwari ako’y may hinahanap, siya’y nakatingin nga ng malagkit at nakangiti ng parang isang walang muwang na kabataan. Isa isa ng nawawala ang mga tao sa waiting shed dahil patigil na rin ang ulan. Ewan ko ba, pwede na sana akong umalis pero nagdalawang isip ako. Sapakin ko kaya ang sumusunod sa akin, wari ko. Pero huwag, sayang naman, napag isip isip ko, may hitsura naman pala siya.

Tunghayan ang buong kwento.