A Bigger Job

Before I went out of the office this afternoon, I bid goodbye to my American superior, he just arrived from a month long vacation. I have just been regularized; so he asked me how my job was. I said it was fine. I said that I was getting along very well with the job and been learning a lot as each day progresses. Sounds good? Hmm, but you know what? Lately I have been trying hard to hold my head together as I dealt with the overwhelming responsibilities as the company's new accountant. Not that I feel incapable of doing what’s assigned to me, it’s only that sometimes I would want to tell them that true I am just a paid employee but I also do get tired dutifully unlike a restless robot.

This is not my way of complaining what I couldn’t tell my boss straight to his face. Pardon my silent rally; I am just yet again in one of those rare moments when the circumstances drown me in little irreverence. My tolerance towards challenging and taxing accountabilities has seemed to have gradually diminished with time or is it just the fact that I have never really liked "positions" from the very beginning? Contrary to what you might think, I have a self downsized personality. Oftentimes I fear representing a group, leading a pack, managing a task or simply in charge of a concerted effort.

I have worked for San Miguel Corporation as a Senior Financial Analyst for more than six years. Had I not resigned to pursue my Dubai dreams, I would have been a manager by now. Well, actually I was told about it when I decided to leave the company. My boss revealed their plans for me as if knowing them would entice me to stay. Had they've informed me ahead of my decision, I would have declined either. I know my own strengths, but at times that I feel that I am not ready yet, I don’t take risk, even if that represent a once in a lifetime shot.

Now, I kinda feel the same, too overworked and the responsibilities coming too big to handle. Am I waiting for someone else to tell me that I can do this? Nope. But certainly it will be appreciated. They trusted me for this job and I don’t need another thing to happen so I could realize that. I just couldn't tweet "if I could only transfer to another job by tomorrow". I should be thankful that I got a job after the long wait. I have learned my lessons well. I have grown up and ready for the challenge.

Not all are given the chance that I have let slipped through my fingers simply out of convenience and silliness. I am not letting go of this one. I am not made to break. I know my own strengths.

The Doctor is Out

We live in a world where a lot of medical misconceptions are already construed as facts: eating at night makes you gain weight, you should take eight glasses of water each day, touching frogs or toads gives you warts, sugar makes kid hyper, reading in dim light ruins your eyesight, doctors live a glamorous profession. These are the things that people have just accepted as true without question simply because they are told and heard repeatedly of the same thing. Sometimes even people with medical degree falls prey into these daunting task of sorting facts from fiction. But when it comes to the glam and prestige of their own profession, they know better and they'd tell you it's not.

I now work for an insurance related company here in Dubai. It's an organization that employs almost 300 people, 70% of which are Filipinos who are health-related practitioners. Just last week, I had an induction/orientation program together with the other newbie's in the company, three of them were Filipino physicians who came to Dubai on tourist visa to look for work. At first, I couldn’t believe that they were doctors, well, not part that they were licensed, but what prompted them to leave the country and gamble here. Of all the people that I'd expect to be fellow OFW, doctors, together with lawyers and politicians, are the least I thought to join the search for greener pasture. I thought they are on top of the society, important people who saves lives. I was wrong. They are important people indeed, but just like many of us, their service back home is more of nobility than livelihood.

What brought me here to Dubai was the same reasons these doctors have left the country, better pay and better living opportunities for their loved ones. My respect, admiration and high regards for doctors have averted me from pursuing my intrigues directly from them. The fact they were here should end all of my questions and instead direct my misconceptions back home.

There must be something wrong there that even doctors are leaving the country at its deplorable state. P19,618 monthly salary for a resident physician in a government hospital, job insecurity and curtailment of basic rights, political instability, poor working conditions, threat of the malpractice law, high taxes, decreased stature of doctors and inadequate resources to perform functions, indeed, more than the economic reasons, a slew of other push factors are what sending our doctors to seek employment abroad..

It is a sad reality, that in times that we exactly need doctors to mitigate the lamenting healthcare situation in the country, more and more medical professionals are leaving and lending their gifts, skills, their brainpower, tenacity and work ethics at the service of other people. Because of the ongoing medical Diaspora, a lot of rural towns in the country are without doctors to serve the medical needs of the people, hospitals are closing down due to lack of nurses and doctors and from what I've read in a related blog, 7 out 10 people are dying without being seen by health personnel. At the rate things are going, surely it wouldn’t be a surprise if there will come a day when there are no more doctors or nurses to cure our illnesses and we will just die helplessly in unmanned big hospitals built from the dollar remittances of these doctors who have chosen to be OFWs.

For its part, the government has remained callous and unmindful of the sad twist of events. It has never been really worried of the exodus of doctors and other professional to work abroad, it even encourages it. And why not? The Philippines earned 16.4B in OFW remittances in 2008. If not for the remittances of the OFWs, the Philippine economy had collapsed long ago. Consequently, the people back home pay the same price.

Me in Dubai Metro ( A Pictorial! Huh!)

Much of Less

Last night's sighting of the new moon has marked the beginning of the most holy month in the Muslim calendar – the Ramadan. And as the season begins, life will change for most of Dubai residents, not just for Muslims. People of other faith, including Filipinos, will see their usual routines altered, whether they like it or not. Beyond the fasting of our Muslim brothers, everyone else is goaled in finding more good with the "less" during the observance.

For Muslims, Ramadan is a time to come back home, to get closer to God as individuals, as family and as community. Fasting or less focus on food and earthly things teaches them self control and discipline while purifying the body, mind and soul. Abstaining from food seems to be the way God teaches how to gain control over other aspects of our lives, which in turn helps us focus on spiritual matters. During this month, Muslims must control their passions and desires, and perform extra prayers and good deeds with complete devotion to God.

It is a tough call for Muslims, but for us people of other beliefs, living in a country where the brand of faith is different from ours, we could only slow down on the way we usually do things as a sign of courtesy and respect. After all, not obliging with the guidelines is punishable and that leaves us not a single choice to act on our own less one wants to spend some time in jail or worst get deported. Since it's a time of piety and religious consciousness, one must dress up moderately and avoid animated behavior that could cause offense. I must say that discipline and accord is at their highest adherence at this times regardless of our identity and preferences.

The annoyances during Ramadan are aimed not to punish or discourage people at any level. Truth is, treasures could be found in the elected bareness and simplicity. During Ramadan, shpping malls and restaurants veil their windows and open only after sunset. So you'll get to learn how to cook. Eating, drinking and smoking during the day is strictly prohibited and it's a great way to diet and stay healthy. Nightclubs and discos are in hiatus for a month and that means less spending. Road is less congested during the usual rush hours and your patience while traveling home is somehow momentarily laid to rest.

Working environment during Ramadan is more relaxed while people find more reasons to postpone work or go home early. Working hours is reduced and in theory could be bad for the economy. Professional commitment is not maximized and office works tend to pile up unfinished in one's desk. But for the good part, having to go home early means more time to sleep, to blog, to read your favorite books, to movie marathon, to chat with family back home, to meet up with friends and just simply rest and plan ahead for your family's future. Bet no one's gonna argue with that.

Despite the many things reduced, curtailed and minimized during this Holy month, Ramadan works in a way far important than just losing some pounds due to eating prohibitions or saving money due to closed bars and entertainment options. It gives us the opportunity to learn a lot from other people's tradition especially the essence of fasting, to share more time with our beloved back homes even through that small webcam, to show respect for our Muslim friends and be one living proof that people, despite differences in color, race or religion can unite and live harmoniously as one big happy family.

I, Witness

....

7 PM DUBAI. The day was so stretched that the sun was just about to kiss its burned citizens goodnight. Same time in some other parts of the globe, people were already having their dinner, watching their favorite television shows and relaxing after a busy day. Apparently here, people, particularly the hardworking Pinoy OFWs, were likewise busy but not in the comforts of their own homes. Back and forth, they came rushing from all directions heading home, not one without a paper bag or a plastic bag probably containing something to cook for dinner or stuff bought from a discount shop to fill that huge anticipated balik bayan box. Their lives as a slaved worker have just ended for the day and so begun their little time to be human, i.e., an opportunity to eat, to rest, to talk with friends and think of their loved ones back home.

I used to sit in that familiar place adjacent a mall every time the clock approached 7PM. That's the time when the whole area was littered with people to smoke, to coffee, to chat with friends and for car less commuters to wait for their car pool. I was once pretending to be one of them. In reality, I was trying to pass time – to waste it as fast as I could while others could only wish for a 30 minute break from their strenuous work. Having been an unlucky tourist during that time here in Dubai, or should I say a jobless shit to put it more blatant, thanks to the global crisis, it has already been a part of my daily routine to spend time in the benches to just enthusiastically watch as people of rainbow colors comes down and around. Their mobility and purpose never failed to make me feel so green and resentful. Even the sight of our lowliest kabayan, who just seems to work as some maintenance guy, always made my head down to tears and self pity. At least they know what they are doing here and they make their family back home happy and proud. As for me back then, I was still trying to find a job and perhaps trying to hold my purpose like grains of sand carefully slipping through my fingers.

I have sat there for so many times alone as people stopped, thought and waited a minute. In the many occassions that I was there, I have bore witness at the bite of reality, of the many stories of our kababayans’ struggles and sacrifices here in Dubai , inevitably when my ears and eyes felt like listening when fellow Filipino’s passion for “kwentuhan” comes to scene. Already, I have overheard: a young lady sharing to another how she lost her job after her company closed down due to the financial crisis, one guy talking to somebody over his mobile phone, apologizing for not sending his padala on time. He explained that he has lent his friend some amount as the latter needed it for a parent’s hospitalization. Then, there were the “car lifters” talking about the 300 Pinoys recruited from the Philippines and were promised a job only to find out when they arrived that they have been scammed. One of them could even joke how his wife had runaway with another guy while he worked hard here in Dubai so that he could send money to her. They were laughing in between his loud “PI’s”. It’s pretty cool how they could just laugh about it. There are many more tales of discomfort, of pains, of hopes and of dreams of our kabayans here in Dubai that remained unheard and resting on their chest box. Except on the pages of this blogsphere, mine is one them.

One time, I was sitting alone like all the other usual days. I was thinking if Dubai is still the place for me. Then an old kabayan sat besides me. He was carrying a huge backpack that made him looked so tired and haggard. “How are you?” he opened up. I smiled at him to say, “Pinoy din po ako”. “Akala ko kasi Nepalese ka eh”, he confessed to my delight. I thought of walking out right away because I suspected that he could just be another kabayan begging for some financial help. But I have no where else to go so before he could even tell me that, I let him knew ahead that right now I am still jobless and it has been pretty hard times for me since then.

Contrary to what I expected of him to do next, he started to deliver some comforting and fatherly words of advices and wisdom. He said that we are indeed in tremulous times and we just have to bear with it with faith and patience. He shared that he has been in Dubai for the last seventeen years of his life and he works as a maintenance guy of a real estate company. He just earns a very minimal pay but I can see that he is very happy and thankful. He furthered that whatever is happening to everyone, it’s just how God wants it to be. Hearing those words, I discounted that he could be what I’d initially thought him to be. He sounds so contended and able despite his job that I could only care about when I am dead.

It was a pleasant exchange of stories at the start. Someone not only listened to my tales but assured me that sooner it’s going to be fine. Then he began to explore beyond the boundaries of our own personal dilemma. He started to ask questions that challenged my deep comprehension. “What is the name of the one true god?”, “Can anyone still salvage us from the dark times that we are in?”, “What do all these financial crisis, war and violence mean?”, “What does the future holds for us?” he asked in succession without expecting me to answer. He explained each. He was starting to sound preachy and I started to feel bored and annoyed. Honestly, I have such a very low tolerance when it comes to religious conversations in the perspective of a particular group or sect because I believe that faith need not be branded. I could have stopped hearing any further discussions on spiritual truths by telling him that I needed to go but I hesitated. I tried to eavesdrop intently to his words and cite my opinions once in while and it’s not bad though. We might have some differences in religious preferences but bottom line is, we still have the same God that hears even those that the hearts couldn’t say.

It would have been unfair if I just walked out simply because what he’s sharing was outside of my interest. While everyone else was busy crumbling to get home and as I watched time flies waiting for someone to heed my tales, someone came along to lend an ear and offered more. If I deserved a little time to be heard, this man deserved something more than an equal opportunity, but respect and admiration for extending his arms far beyond his reach. He was just a janitor, tired from work and yet still has time to share, inspire and listen. Not every kabayan would be willing to do that. The act itself of devoting a piece of his time in this place where it is regarded as priceless is something to be admired and appreciated way up high whatever topic, objections and misinterpretations we might have discussed along the way, be it the end of the world or about the curse of man. Dubai can be such a cruel and cold place to live in, how ironic, but with people like Manong, as what I addressed him; he just makes it a little homey and bearable. Before we parted ways, he pulled something out from his bag and gave it to me, it’s a leaflet that reveals more about the “truth” and I thanked him for the time. It’s what he has been carrying all along.

There are wonders if you wander, says one blogger and it doesn’t take a genius to know if it’s true. I have been unlucky to have remained jobless here in Dubai for almost eight months, but being a tambay has nonetheless opened my eyes to the wonderful discoveries that have unfolded before my naked eyes, things that I haven't known when I was still busy with work and with the many tangible things that used to define my “life”. I have been a witness myself to the many struggles and sacrifices of our kababayans. I have been a witness on how we Filipinos always try to perfect our craft no matter what it is, despite some discrimination and indifference we may have from other people or from the work itself. I have been a witness, from that spot where I used to loiter at sunset, on how our kakabayans here in Dubai rushed to get home and be just who they are apart from being a devoted worker ready to endure everything for the sake of their loved ones back home. Finally, I have been a witness on how an old nameless Manong, against the tide of limited time and chances of rejection, was trying to make a difference in other Filipinos lives by sharing and imparting the values of patience, perseverance and faith.

Now, I am lucky to have employed myself to a new job after almost eight months of being a tambay. Sadly, I can no longer afford to sit in that familiar place adjacent the mall to watch with time as people of rainbow colors comes down and around. Like the rest of the many Filipinos who rush to get home in the evening after a very tiring day at the office, I no longer have the luxury of time to eavesdrop to a kabayan’s heartfelt sharing to another or to meet another manong to share his wisdom and inspirations. I supposed somebody else now sits in that spot where I used to loiter every time the clock approaches 7 PM. I suppose the witness now gets witnessed and another soul has taken his turn to see for himself what goes beyond the fast and dry life that defines Dubai. As for me, I would say that I have learned a lot about the sacrifices and struggles of Pinoys OFW by being a tambay for so long but bravely in a sense; there is no better testament to know the truth behind the evening rush and manifold dreams of the eleven million Filipino overseas contract workers than to be ONE OF THEM. There is no better spot to appreciate their greatness and legacy to the country and to the whole world than to be IN THEIR SHOES.

Note: This is an entry to PEBA 2009. Follow this link
to visit and vote for my entry at PEBA's main page.

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