Days after my first exit were uneventful and fruitless as far as my job hunting is concerned. In a matter of time, I would find myself again in a familiar situation, hopeless, wasted, conspired and unarmed.
They say there are lessons in history but how come I didn't learn. people are supposed to learn from their mistakes but how come I emerged so dumb. The tribulations that pass through our lives are bound to leave an imprint on our experiences either by making us stronger and wiser should the same ordeals come the second time around but how come poorly that I always felt it was my first time. History is repeated. Like it was before, there were pains and agony. Only this time it was deeper and lasting. Never thought it would come.
More than year go, I was on the same crossroad as today. I was working as an OFW, quit my job and deciding whether to go back home or stay to find another job. I went back home instead to be welcomed only by countless miseries, heartaches, financial burdens and sour frustrations. I have walked through boulevards of broken dreams and heading up seemed to be a long shot to a successful journey. In a matter of time, I was out of the country again, believing to be wiser and stronger. Surprise! In four months time, I lost my job again for a more preposterous reasons. This time, I was thinking to go back home or go to hell.
I thought that the first time would be the last. I thought I had enough. I thought I had learned my lessons well. I had admitted my mistakes so easily and I was let unquestioned. I had forgiven myself and all the rest especially my family did understand my decision. The first cut had barely made a scar to remind me of where I have gone wrong once in my fruitful career. So then came another. To say that I am stupid would be an understatement. I was inconsiderate, unreasonable, selfish and have acted on slap judgment. Now everything has come back to me. How I wish I could just make a decision like filling up a multiple choice examination back in my History subject. But it's not how it is. Things have changed now.
They say there are lessons in history but how come I didn't learn. people are supposed to learn from their mistakes but how come I emerged so dumb. The tribulations that pass through our lives are bound to leave an imprint on our experiences either by making us stronger and wiser should the same ordeals come the second time around but how come poorly that I always felt it was my first time. History is repeated. Like it was before, there were pains and agony. Only this time it was deeper and lasting. Never thought it would come.
More than year go, I was on the same crossroad as today. I was working as an OFW, quit my job and deciding whether to go back home or stay to find another job. I went back home instead to be welcomed only by countless miseries, heartaches, financial burdens and sour frustrations. I have walked through boulevards of broken dreams and heading up seemed to be a long shot to a successful journey. In a matter of time, I was out of the country again, believing to be wiser and stronger. Surprise! In four months time, I lost my job again for a more preposterous reasons. This time, I was thinking to go back home or go to hell.
I thought that the first time would be the last. I thought I had enough. I thought I had learned my lessons well. I had admitted my mistakes so easily and I was let unquestioned. I had forgiven myself and all the rest especially my family did understand my decision. The first cut had barely made a scar to remind me of where I have gone wrong once in my fruitful career. So then came another. To say that I am stupid would be an understatement. I was inconsiderate, unreasonable, selfish and have acted on slap judgment. Now everything has come back to me. How I wish I could just make a decision like filling up a multiple choice examination back in my History subject. But it's not how it is. Things have changed now.
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